IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3337 – Band 5.5

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The provided tow maps below enumerate road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.

City hospital in,2007 located precisely in the centre of the ring road which lead to the hospital road from the south of the ring road and in the south east of the ring road there is car park for the staff and public along with bus station just above the car park in east of the ring road and besides, there is an attachment of city road with hospital road in city hospital 2007.

In,2010 city hospital developed however, city hospital remained unchanged located in the centre of the ring road but that being said there was a separation for staff car park and public car park. The public car park attached to the ring road in east side and staff car park relocated to the hospital road. However, there were two square which built in, 2010 one which lead from the ring road to the hospital road and second square lead to the city road. Moreover, bus station demolished and relocated to the west of the hospital road with an attachment to the both squares. However, there is roundabout just east of the map below the public car park which replaced it by bus stop.

Overall, there is massive change in,2010 hospital city specifically in the centre of the map, development of two squares and separation of staff car park and public car park as well as replacing the bus stop by roundabout and relocating the bus station to the west side of the map

262 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

February 27, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this report. The years, 2007 and 2010, are used as adjectives which makes the report mechanical; in other words, the report should’ve refrained from structures like “2010 City Hospital”. On a different note, the grammar tense should be observed accurately; 2007 and 2010 need past simple tense.


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
6.0 addresses the requirements of the task
6.0 presents and adequately highlights key features
7.0 could be more fully extended
6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. The years, 2007 and 2010, are used as adjectives which makes the report mechanical; in other words, the report should’ve refrained from structures like “2010 City Hospital”. On a different note, the grammar tense should be observed accurately; 2007 and 2010 need past simple tense.

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The provided maps illustrate the changes in road access to a city hospital between the years 2007 and 2010.
In the map from 2007, the hospital was accessible via a single road leading directly to its main entrance. This road was connected to the city's main highway, allowing easy access for both emergency vehicles and regular traffic. Surrounding the hospital, there were several parking spaces available for visitors, patients, and staff. Notably, there were no alternative routes or access points shown on this map.
Conversely, in the 2010 map, significant alterations in road access to the hospital are evident. The single road from the 2007 map has been expanded into a dual carriageway, providing smoother traffic flow and potentially accommodating a higher volume of vehicles. Moreover, a new access road has been introduced, leading to a separate entrance at the rear of the hospital. This entrance is connected to a road that intersects with the city's main highway, offering an additional entry point for patients and visitors.
The parking area has also undergone changes, with the expansion of parking facilities to the east of the hospital. This expansion is likely to address the increased demand for parking due to the improved road accessibility. It's worth noting that the previous parking area is still present, indicating that both parking options are available.
In conclusion, the maps vividly illustrate the transformation of road access to the city hospital between 2007 and 2010. The introduction of a dual carriageway, a new access road, and expanded parking facilities signify enhancements in both road connectivity and parking convenience. These changes are likely to have improved the overall accessibility and functionality of the hospital for patients, visitors, and medical staff.
237 words

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