IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3135 – Band 6.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The first pie chart compares the usage of energy in terms of 6 different category which used by average Australian household. The second figure indicates share of emission of greenhouse gas, which is considered as result of usage of energy.

Overall, althoug heating is the most widely-used of consuming energy, it is not contributes the largest share of greenhouse gas emissions. In addition, the usage of refrigeration generate twice percentage greenhouse gas emission. 

According to the first chart, the most significant amounts of energy are used by heating (42%). The second highest proportion, 30%, is water heating while less than half this figure is other appliances. The remaining shares were allocated to refrigeration, 7%, lighting, 4%, and cooling 2%. 

It is clear from the second chart that, the contribution of greenhouse gas emission in this category is almost similar in 2 items, namely watering heating and other appliance (32% and 28% respectively). Furthermore, refrigeration and heating also have almost similare share, stand at second level through other 6 items. The lowest share for emitting greenhouse gas belong to lighting and cooling (8% and 3%, respectively).

185 words
Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

May 15, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
7.0 covers the requirements of the task
6.0 presents and adequately highlights key features
7.0 could be more fully extended
6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA): The response adequately covers the requirements of the task, presenting an overview and highlighting key features from both charts. However, there is some repetition in the overview that could be avoided. The comparison between energy use and greenhouse gas emissions is appropriate, but the conclusion drawn from the charts about heating could be more clearly connected to the data presented.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The response is logically organized with clear progression in most parts. However, transitions between the descriptions of the two charts could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is generally good, but there is room for better sentence linkage and paragraphing to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is varied, and technical terms are used correctly. Nonetheless, more precise language could be used to describe the data, such as "accounts for" instead of "is" when talking about contributions to emissions. There are minor errors ("watering heating" should be "water heating") that should be corrected for accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): There is a reasonable range of sentence structures, and most sentences are error-free. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions ("althoug heating is the most widely-used of consuming energy" should be "although heating is the most widely used form of energy consumption"). Attention to subject-verb agreement and proper comparative structures would enhance the response.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The pie charts illustrate the distribution of energy consumption and the corresponding greenhouse gas emissions in an average Australian household.
The first chart details the percentage of energy usage across different household activities. Heating is the most significant energy consumer, accounting for 42% of total usage, followed by water heating at 30%. Other appliances collectively use 15% of energy, while refrigeration accounts for 7%. Lighting and cooling are the least energy-consuming activities, making up 4% and 2% of the total, respectively.
In the second chart, which presents greenhouse gas emissions resulting from energy use, water heating is shown to be the largest contributor to emissions, constituting 32% of the total. This is slightly higher than its share of energy use. Emissions from other appliances represent 28%, which is a substantial increase compared to their energy consumption percentage. Heating, while being the largest energy user, only contributes to 15% of emissions, indicating a relatively lower emission rate per unit of energy used for heating. Refrigeration is responsible for 14% of emissions, double its share of energy use. Lighting and cooling are relatively minor sources of emissions, at 8% and 3% respectively.
Overall, the charts demonstrate that the highest energy-consuming activities do not necessarily correlate with the highest greenhouse gas emissions, suggesting variations in the efficiency and environmental impact of different energy uses within Australian households.
174 words

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