IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3104 – Band 6.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below show the percentage of water used by different sectors in Sydney, Australia, in 1997 and 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

IELTS-JUICE-Writing-Task-1-report-sample-3104-Band-6.5

Environment, Society and Community, Task 1 report, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The amount of water usage by various user section in Sydney , Australia , during a decade from 1997 to 2007 is compared in the given pie charts.

Overall, it is abundantly clear that a lion’s share of water was used in food industry, while building industry was the section which used the least water amongst the other counterparts. During the survey period, domestic use saw a neglictable change in water usage.

If we pay heed to the details , we can see that in 1997 just less than a half of water (48%) was exploited in food industry, whereas this figure was dipped by seven percent to 41% at the end of the period. On the contrary , much less water was used in construction (five and two percent in 1997 and 2007 respectively) , and decreasing rate was too low. Similarly , water usage in service industry was decreased merely from 15% to 11% during the decade.

Looking at household use , we can observe no considerable change in water usage , only by two percent increasing from 19% in 1997 to 21% in 2007 But after ten years a great amount of water was used in production , surged to almost double number from 13% to 25% .

211 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 10, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA):
The response provides an overview and makes comparisons, addressing the requirements of the task.
However, the response incorrectly describes trends in the service industry and manufacturing. The text suggests a decrease in water usage for services and an increase for manufacturing, which is not supported by the data in the charts. Service industry usage increased, while manufacturing decreased.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The structure of the report is clear, with an overall statement followed by a detailed comparison.
The phrase "If we pay heed to the details" is a less common choice for academic writing and could be replaced with more formal phrasing like "Examining the details more closely."

Lexical Resource (LR):
There is a good range of vocabulary with phrases such as "a lion’s share," "negligible change," and "surged."
Some word choices could be more precise to avoid misrepresenting the data ("exploited" could be replaced with "accounted for" or "consumed").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
The response demonstrates a variety of grammatical structures, but there are several errors. For example, "user section" should be "sectors," and "decreasing rate was too low" could be rephrased for clarity.
Some grammatical mistakes, such as "was used in construction," affect the accuracy. It should be "was used by the construction industry."

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)

7.0 covers the requirements of the task

7.0 clearly presents and highlights key features

6.0 details may be irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate

6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

7.0 they do not impede communication

7.0

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA):
The response provides an overview and makes comparisons, addressing the requirements of the task.
However, the response incorrectly describes trends in the service industry and manufacturing. The text suggests a decrease in water usage for services and an increase for manufacturing, which is not supported by the data in the charts. Service industry usage increased, while manufacturing decreased.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The structure of the report is clear, with an overall statement followed by a detailed comparison.
The phrase "If we pay heed to the details" is a less common choice for academic writing and could be replaced with more formal phrasing like "Examining the details more closely."

Lexical Resource (LR):
There is a good range of vocabulary with phrases such as "a lion’s share," "negligible change," and "surged."
Some word choices could be more precise to avoid misrepresenting the data ("exploited" could be replaced with "accounted for" or "consumed").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
The response demonstrates a variety of grammatical structures, but there are several errors. For example, "user section" should be "sectors," and "decreasing rate was too low" could be rephrased for clarity.
Some grammatical mistakes, such as "was used in construction," affect the accuracy. It should be "was used by the construction industry."

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Kasra Sharifan

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British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

The pie charts compare the distribution of water usage among various sectors in Sydney, Australia, in the years 1997 and 2007.

In 1997, the food industry was the largest consumer of water, accounting for nearly half of the total usage at 48%. The service industry followed, utilizing 13% of the water supply. Household use represented 19%, while manufacturing required 15%. The building industry was the smallest consumer, using just 5% of the total water.

A decade later, in 2007, the food industry remained the top water user, although its share decreased to 41%. There was a significant increase in the water usage by the service industry, which rose to 25%, becoming the second-largest sector in water consumption. Household use saw a slight rise to 21%, whereas manufacturing experienced a reduction to 11%. Notably, the building industry's share of water usage saw a steep decline to a mere 2%.

Overall, the data indicates a shift in water usage patterns over the ten-year period, with the service industry's consumption rising noticeably. The manufacturing sector's reduction in water use and the substantial decrease in the building industry's share are also remarkable. Meanwhile, household water usage remained relatively stable, showing a modest increase.

199 words