IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 2829 – Band 5.5

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The graph illustrates the consumption of six categories of fuel in the USA in the year 1980 to 2008 and their prediction until 2030.

To begin with, it is noticeable that all kinds of energy had an upward trend except hydropower, which was a roughly steady pattern with an amount of 3 quadrillions unite (qu) between the year 1980 and 2030. With respect to the given graph, the highest usage was petrol and oil which was beginning from 35 quadrillions unite in the year 1980 with a dramatic increasing trend while the projections demonstrate it will be raised more than 45 (qu) in 2030. The secondly ranked was related to coal which was 16 (qu) in 1980. It is worth mentioning that it had a similar sharp climbing movement likes fossil fuel such as petrol and oil while in the end it will be reached 30 (qu) in 2030.

On the other hand, natural gas, nuclear, and solar/wind energy had a gradual rise. It is noteworthy that both nuclear and solar/wind sources had the same rate of consumption in 1980 that was almost 4 (qu), whereas the predictions show that people prefer to utilize nuclear more than solar/wind energy in the future.  However, natural gas had a similar movement but its utilization was equal to 20 (qu) in the year 1980 which will be arisen to 24 (qu) according to projections.

To sum up, it can be clearly seen that the fossil fuel practically petrol and oil was the most popular resource of energy in the USA and it will be the most common source till 2030.

267 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 21, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA)
The report addresses the task requirements by summarizing the main features and making comparisons. However, the overview could be clearer, highlighting overall trends more distinctly. The report should also rectify the misrepresentation of data, such as the claim that "all kinds of energy had an upward trend except hydropower," which does not align with the graph where hydropower shows an increase. Accuracy in data presentation is crucial.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC)
The organization of the report shows logical sequencing. Yet, it would benefit from a broader range of cohesive devices to better link ideas and sections. Clear topic sentences should be introduced for each paragraph to guide the reader through the response more effectively.

Lexical Resource (LR)
A range of vocabulary is employed to describe the data, such as "dramatic increasing trend" and "the projections demonstrate." Nonetheless, there are errors like "quadrillions unite" instead of "quadrillion units" and some unnatural phrasing. Using correct terminology and varying vocabulary to articulate trends and comparisons would enhance the lexical resource score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA)
The report utilizes a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are grammatical inaccuracies present. Phrases like "The secondly ranked was related to coal" should be revised for clarity and correctness to something like "Coal was the second most consumed fuel." Attention should be given to subject-verb agreement, prepositional use, and the elimination of superfluous words.

Overall:
The report provides a competent description of the graph but has room for improvement, particularly in the accurate portrayal of information, grammatical precision, and the use of a wider range of linguistic structures.


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
7.0 covers the requirements of the task
6.0 presents and adequately highlights key features
6.0 details may be irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate
6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA)
The report addresses the task requirements by summarizing the main features and making comparisons. However, the overview could be clearer, highlighting overall trends more distinctly. The report should also rectify the misrepresentation of data, such as the claim that "all kinds of energy had an upward trend except hydropower," which does not align with the graph where hydropower shows an increase. Accuracy in data presentation is crucial.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC)
The organization of the report shows logical sequencing. Yet, it would benefit from a broader range of cohesive devices to better link ideas and sections. Clear topic sentences should be introduced for each paragraph to guide the reader through the response more effectively.

Lexical Resource (LR)
A range of vocabulary is employed to describe the data, such as "dramatic increasing trend" and "the projections demonstrate." Nonetheless, there are errors like "quadrillions unite" instead of "quadrillion units" and some unnatural phrasing. Using correct terminology and varying vocabulary to articulate trends and comparisons would enhance the lexical resource score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA)
The report utilizes a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are grammatical inaccuracies present. Phrases like "The secondly ranked was related to coal" should be revised for clarity and correctness to something like "Coal was the second most consumed fuel." Attention should be given to subject-verb agreement, prepositional use, and the elimination of superfluous words.

Overall:
The report provides a competent description of the graph but has room for improvement, particularly in the accurate portrayal of information, grammatical precision, and the use of a wider range of linguistic structures.

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Kasra Sharifan

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The graph provided delineates the trends in energy consumption across six different fuel types in the United States from 1980 to 2008, with projected consumption patterns extending to 2030, as reported in a 2008 study. In short, the data highlights a dominant reliance on petrol and oil in the United States' energy profile, which is expected to persist into the future
From 1980 to 2008, petrol and oil were consistently the most consumed energy sources, with figures starting at approximately 35 quadrillion units and experiencing a steady climb to just under 45 quadrillion units. Projections indicate a continuing ascent, with consumption expected to surpass 45 quadrillion units by 2030. Coal, the second most utilized energy source, began at around 16 quadrillion units and rose moderately, with an anticipated increase to nearly 30 quadrillion units by the end of the projection period.
In contrast to the pronounced consumption of fossil fuels, natural gas displayed a more gradual upward trend, with an inception point of about 20 quadrillion units and a forecast to reach 25 quadrillion units by 2030. Nuclear energy and solar/wind power, which both started at close to 4 quadrillion units, followed a similar trajectory. While nuclear energy is predicted to witness a moderate rise to approximately 7 quadrillion units, solar/wind energy is expected to have a relatively sharper increase, potentially reaching around 6 quadrillion units.
Hydropower consumption remained relatively stable with slight fluctuations around the 3 quadrillion unit mark throughout the historical data, with minimal changes anticipated in the projected period.
To summarize, while renewable energy sources like solar/wind are projected to experience an upsurge in consumption, they, along with nuclear and hydropower, still fall far behind the traditional fossil fuels, namely petrol, oil, and coal. The gradual increase in natural gas usage suggests a diversifying energy consumption pattern, although it does not come close to the leading fossil fuels.
328 words

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