IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3114 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV and reading about them on the newspaper.

Why do they do this?

Do you think it is a good idea to copy famous people?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Arts and Entertainment, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Normal people by reading magazine or watching television, try to imitate famous personalities. These people do this to follow fashion and they feel pleasure to be look alike their favorite people. I believe that it is not fine to fake one appearance, as everyone have its own personality.

In recent times, it is easy to replicate anyone, especially to stars, as different means of sources are available. People imitate famous personalities because they are their fans. They want to be look similar like them and they feel happy when they wear the same outfits or get the same hair-cut done as their eminent stars do. Furthermore, popular personalities follow the latest trend of fashion: therefore, it is easy for ordinary people to follow the actor or actress by watching them in fashion shows, dramas or serials. This is how people get in touch with the recent fashion and following these make them different among individuals.

I do not agree that to copy someone is good, one should have separate identity. People ought not to be identified as the fan of other, for the reason they lose their identity. To elaborate, individuals who are obese, if they try an outfit which is tighter to them: then the suit will not look appealing on them. Likewise, blonde hair color is not for every complexion, women change their natural hair color, just to follow fashion, but if this color do not go with their complexion, then they feel awkward in the gathering. So, it is better to follow those things which enhances your personality.

In conclusion, people go after celebrities to duplicate them and to be updated about fashion industry. It is not appropriate to put oneself in same shoes as big names, in this way individuals loose themselves and their personality.

299 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 14, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The response adequately addresses the given task by discussing why ordinary people try to imitate famous personalities. It highlights the desire to follow fashion trends and the pleasure derived from resembling their favorite celebrities. The stance on whether it is a good idea to copy famous people is clearly expressed, supporting the overall task response.

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically connected, and the progression of thoughts is easy to follow. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs contribute to the overall coherence of the response.

While the vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the ideas, there is room for improvement. There are instances where more precise or varied vocabulary could enhance the expression of ideas and contribute to a higher lexical resource score. For instance, the word "loose" in the sentence fragment "in this way individuals loose themselves and their personality." is confusing; does the essay want to say "loosen" or "lose"; even "loose" as a verb has a literal meaning which is weird in this context.

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, contributing to overall clarity. However, there are noticeable, basic grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in some sentences, impacting the accuracy of the language.

The essay provides a well-argued response to the given prompt, with quite clear reasoning and a coherent structure. However, improvements in lexical resource and grammatical accuracy are needed to elevate the overall score. Consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and refining sentence structures to enhance the overall language proficiency.

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

5.0 may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation

5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The response adequately addresses the given task by discussing why ordinary people try to imitate famous personalities. It highlights the desire to follow fashion trends and the pleasure derived from resembling their favorite celebrities. The stance on whether it is a good idea to copy famous people is clearly expressed, supporting the overall task response.

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically connected, and the progression of thoughts is easy to follow. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs contribute to the overall coherence of the response.

While the vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the ideas, there is room for improvement. There are instances where more precise or varied vocabulary could enhance the expression of ideas and contribute to a higher lexical resource score. For instance, the word "loose" in the sentence fragment "in this way individuals loose themselves and their personality." is confusing; does the essay want to say "loosen" or "lose"; even "loose" as a verb has a literal meaning which is weird in this context.

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, contributing to overall clarity. However, there are noticeable, basic grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in some sentences, impacting the accuracy of the language.

The essay provides a well-argued response to the given prompt, with quite clear reasoning and a coherent structure. However, improvements in lexical resource and grammatical accuracy are needed to elevate the overall score. Consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and refining sentence structures to enhance the overall language proficiency.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In contemporary society, a prevalent phenomenon involves ordinary individuals attempting to emulate famous personalities, a behavior often fueled by exposure through television and newspapers. This essay explores two primary reasons behind this emulation and argues against the idea of copying celebrities.

One significant reason why ordinary people strive to imitate famous personalities is the influence these celebrities exert over fashion trends. Television broadcasts and newspaper features showcase the glamorous lifestyles of celebrities, promoting the latest clothing styles and accessories they endorse. For instance, when a popular actor or actress is seen sporting a particular fashion brand, their fans may feel compelled to replicate the same look. This emulation not only allows individuals to align themselves with the latest trends but also fulfills a psychological need to feel connected to their admired personalities.

Another compelling factor driving people to copy famous personalities is the desire for social validation and recognition. Individuals often believe that imitating the lifestyle, appearance, or behaviors of celebrities will enhance their social standing and acceptance among peers. For example, someone might adopt the fitness routine of a famous athlete, aiming not only for a healthier lifestyle but also hoping to garner admiration from their social circle. The pursuit of such recognition can lead people to emulate various aspects of a celebrity's life, even if it means compromising their authenticity.

Despite the prevalent trend of copying famous personalities, I firmly believe that this behavior is not advisable. Copying celebrities often results in a loss of personal identity, as individuals may sacrifice their unique traits and preferences to conform to external standards. Moreover, the constant pursuit of someone else's lifestyle can lead to dissatisfaction and a lack of self-discovery. Encouraging people to be true to themselves and embrace their individuality fosters a more authentic and fulfilling existence.

In conclusion, while the influence of television and newspapers may drive ordinary individuals to copy famous personalities, the drawbacks of this behavior, including a loss of identity and potential dissatisfaction, argue against its merits. Encouraging people to develop their unique paths and identities would contribute to a more diverse and authentic society.

350 words

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