IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 2838 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

There are serious concerns about the sales and production of genetically modified food, yet this is necessary if we are to meet the demands of an increasing world population.
What is your opinion on this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Advancement of novel scientific approaches in almost every field of science, has led to substantial amendments in peoples’ lives all around the world. Biotechnology, in particular Genetically Modified (GM) food, has brought about many choices which can improve the worlds’ population status undoubtedly. Some people, however, claim that there are some major concerns related to the cultivation and marketing of GM food. In my opinion, inasmuch as all these thoughts are baseless, we can look at GM products as the best solution for tackling food scarcity globally.

To begin with, some assert that GM foods are unnatural hence unhealthy. They believe that consumption of crops which have undergone genes alterations contributes to increased health hazards especially cancer and Alzheimer’s disease. The fact that the reasons of such diseases are still unknown makes them factor the GM foods as the potential source of these illnesses.

Touching on the negative role of GM foods, I do not see eye to eye with the opponents- i.e. those who are concerned about utilization of GM products- for two compelling justifications. Firstly, there is no scientific evidence with which they can prove their assertion. In other words, no experimental data so far has been published in medical journals successful to relate the mentioned disorders with GM foods. Heaving this in mind, we can therefor count on genetically engineered foods to feed the ever increasing population of the world.

In addition, due to the increased quality and resistant of these crops, they are highly likely to save those who reside in developing countries where lack of modern agricultural methods and practice, investments, and infrastructures put the people in danger of famine and starvation. In African countries for example, GM foods can be cultivated in the deteriorated soil without any special need for fertilizers, pesticides, or agricultural techniques which means abundant food for the huge population.

In conclusion, although some hold the idea that GM foods are serious dangers, I find their merits more than the demerits. I do believe that hardly can people of Earth survive living without the help of GM foods.

347 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

May 14, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay.
Task Response (TR): The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The writer argues that the benefits of GM foods outweigh the alleged risks and this position is maintained consistently.
The main ideas are developed with specific details and examples, although the essay could benefit from more varied examples and possibly citing sources or hypothetical scenarios to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically organized with clear progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices like "To begin with," "In addition," and "In conclusion," helps in structuring the argument effectively.
Paragraphing is well-managed, each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance readability and flow.

Lexical Resource (LR):
The vocabulary is generally appropriate and there is an attempt to use less common lexical items ("deteriorated soil," "resistant of these crops"). Some word choices could be improved for precision and style.
Occasional awkward phrasing ("Heaving this in mind," likely intended as "Having this in mind") and some redundancy ("successful to relate" could be streamlined to "successfully relate") are minor flaws.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
There is a variety of complex structures, and most sentences are error-free. The writer uses conditional structures, passive voice, and complex noun phrases effectively.
There are some grammatical errors and unusual phrasings that could be refined ("...which are unnatural hence unhealthy," could be improved to "...which are unnatural and therefore unhealthy").


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
7.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
9.0 communication is completely natural
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay.
Task Response (TR): The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The writer argues that the benefits of GM foods outweigh the alleged risks and this position is maintained consistently.
The main ideas are developed with specific details and examples, although the essay could benefit from more varied examples and possibly citing sources or hypothetical scenarios to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically organized with clear progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices like "To begin with," "In addition," and "In conclusion," helps in structuring the argument effectively.
Paragraphing is well-managed, each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance readability and flow.

Lexical Resource (LR):
The vocabulary is generally appropriate and there is an attempt to use less common lexical items ("deteriorated soil," "resistant of these crops"). Some word choices could be improved for precision and style.
Occasional awkward phrasing ("Heaving this in mind," likely intended as "Having this in mind") and some redundancy ("successful to relate" could be streamlined to "successfully relate") are minor flaws.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
There is a variety of complex structures, and most sentences are error-free. The writer uses conditional structures, passive voice, and complex noun phrases effectively.
There are some grammatical errors and unusual phrasings that could be refined ("...which are unnatural hence unhealthy," could be improved to "...which are unnatural and therefore unhealthy").

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Kasra Sharifan

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The advancement of novel scientific approaches in nearly every field of science has led to substantial changes in people's lives worldwide. Biotechnology, particularly genetically modified (GM) food, has introduced many options that can undeniably improve the world's population status. However, some people claim that there are significant concerns related to the cultivation and marketing of GM food. In my opinion, since these concerns are unfounded, we can consider GM products as the best solution for addressing global food scarcity.
To begin with, some argue that GM foods are unnatural and therefore unhealthy. They believe that consuming crops with altered genes contributes to increased health hazards, especially cancer and Alzheimer's disease. The fact that the causes of such diseases are still unknown leads them to suspect GM foods as a potential source of these illnesses.
Regarding the negative perception of GM foods, I do not agree with the opponents—those who are concerned about the utilization of GM products—for two compelling reasons. Firstly, there is no scientific evidence to support their claims. In other words, no experimental data published in medical journals have successfully linked the mentioned disorders with GM foods. With this in mind, we can therefore rely on genetically engineered foods to feed the ever-increasing global population.
Additionally, due to the improved quality and resistance of these crops, they are highly likely to save those who reside in developing countries where the lack of modern agricultural methods, investments, and infrastructures puts people in danger of famine and starvation. For example, in African countries, GM foods can be cultivated in deteriorated soil without the need for fertilizers, pesticides, or advanced agricultural techniques, which means abundant food for the large population.
In conclusion, although some believe that GM foods pose serious dangers, I find their benefits outweigh the drawbacks. I firmly believe that the people of Earth can hardly survive without the assistance of GM foods.
337 words

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