IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3298 – Band 5.5

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Given are two tables comparing the amount of money that the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden had paid for trading coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004.

It is evident from the information supplied that the extent of money was paid for coffee had been increased in all countries listed in 2004. One interesting fact highlighted by the figures is that the UK saw a staggering increased from 1.5 million euros in 1999 to 20 million euros in 2004 in terms of trading coffee. Even though Switzerland stood as the biggest coffee trader among those countries in 1999, however, it took the second place with double amount that of in 1999 in 2004. Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden had the lowest amount of trading coffee in both years with 1.8,1 and 0.8 million euros in 1999 and 2, 1.7 and 1 million euros in 2004 respectively.

With regard to bananas, Switzerland had the heist level in paying for bananas in both years in question with 15 million Euros in 1999 and 47 million euros in 2004. It is worth noting that the amount of money was spent in trading bananas in Switzerland, the UK and Belgium in 2004 was more than threefold those of in 1999 from 15, 1,and 0.6 million euros to 47, 5.5, and 4 million euros respectively. In stark contrast however, Sweden and Denmark saw a decrease in trading bananas from 1.8 and 2 million euros in 1999 to 1 and 0.9 million euros in 2004.

249 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 3, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA):
The response effectively summarizes the tables, comparing the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the given years and countries.
The candidate successfully highlights key features and makes appropriate comparisons.
However, the response could enhance accuracy by avoiding phrases like "the extent of money was paid," which could be more precisely expressed as "the sales figures" or "the amount spent."

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The information is organized logically, with clear comparisons between the two products and across the years for each country.
The use of 'with regard to' is a good cohesive device, but further variety in discourse markers could improve the response.

Lexical Resource (LR):
The response features a range of vocabulary suitable for the task, with terms like "staggering increase" and "heist level" (likely meant to be "highest level").
There are some lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors ("heist" instead of "highest", "was spent" should be "spent") that need correction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures.
There are grammatical errors that need attention, such as the use of "had been increased" instead of "had increased" and "was paid" instead of "was spent" or "were paid."

Overall Score:
Considering the criteria, the response shows good understanding and reporting of the data. To improve the score further, attention should be given to lexical precision and grammatical accuracy. The overall band score, averaging the four criteria, would be approximately:

The grammar has room for improvement. The most important ones are “relative clause” structures and “comparative” sentences. Here’s a book that helps:


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
7.0 covers the requirements of the task
6.0 presents and adequately highlights key features
6.0 details may be irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate
5.0 presents no clear overview
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
5.0 attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
5.0 makes frequent grammatical errors, and punctuation may be faulty
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA):
The response effectively summarizes the tables, comparing the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the given years and countries.
The candidate successfully highlights key features and makes appropriate comparisons.
However, the response could enhance accuracy by avoiding phrases like "the extent of money was paid," which could be more precisely expressed as "the sales figures" or "the amount spent."

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The information is organized logically, with clear comparisons between the two products and across the years for each country.
The use of 'with regard to' is a good cohesive device, but further variety in discourse markers could improve the response.

Lexical Resource (LR):
The response features a range of vocabulary suitable for the task, with terms like "staggering increase" and "heist level" (likely meant to be "highest level").
There are some lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors ("heist" instead of "highest", "was spent" should be "spent") that need correction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures.
There are grammatical errors that need attention, such as the use of "had been increased" instead of "had increased" and "was paid" instead of "was spent" or "were paid."

Overall Score:
Considering the criteria, the response shows good understanding and reporting of the data. To improve the score further, attention should be given to lexical precision and grammatical accuracy. The overall band score, averaging the four criteria, would be approximately:

The grammar has room for improvement. The most important ones are “relative clause” structures and “comparative” sentences. Here’s a book that helps:

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The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

The table shows the sales of fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in five European countries (UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden) in 1999 and 2004. Overall, the sales of both coffee and bananas increased significantly over this period.
The sales of fairtrade-labelled coffee increased in all five countries between 1999 and 2004. The largest increase was in the UK, where sales increased by 1,333%. Switzerland also saw a significant increase in sales (100%), followed by Denmark (11%), Belgium (70%), and Sweden (25%).
The sales of fairtrade-labelled bananas also increased in all five countries between 1999 and 2004. The largest increase was in Switzerland, where sales increased by 313%. Belgium also saw a significant increase in sales (667%), followed by the UK (455%), but Sweden (-55%) and Denmark (-222%) experienced declines.
The data indicates a positive trend in Fairtrade-labelled product sales over the five-year period, with the most notable increases seen in the UK’s coffee sales and Switzerland’s banana sales. Despite these increases, the sales figures for coffee were generally lower than those for bananas in both years across all countries.
179 words

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