IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3355 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.

To what extent do your agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Task 2 essay, Writing samples



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Regarding convenience products, they are already well spread all around the globe and are in reach of every citizen of every country, although some people would rather make food at home, rather than eating premade food from the store. For me it is fictitious that market products will one day surpass cultural food.

First of all, we already know that traditional food is something that your ancestors have lived off many years, and were in healthy condition no matter what. However, traditional food may take more time to prepare, rather than convenience food, although you will be sure that the food you eat at home will not harm you, or your health in any way, because with some experience of cooking you would protect hygiene standards for food preparation.

Furthermore, i would like to add that making food, with recipe bestowed from your grandparents, would be less expensive, contain more vitamins and will more likely fill you up rather than snickers or chips bought from store. For instance, buying the ingredients from store itself is much cheaper than buying similar products of the same quantity.

On the other hand, some people might disagree with me and say that they may not have time to make food at home, nor the knowledge of how to prepare food at home. Well i agree with them partly, but you are never sure what you are buying from the store. There have been incidents, when customers have bought store food and later on got food poisoning. Furthermore, i would like to say that customers don’t know the condition in which the product was made or if there were any hygiene standards protected while making them, thus making them less of a choice.

In conclusion, the food which was passed down to us from our ancestors will not be replaced by market products, because not only does traditional food contain lots of vitamins, but it is also homemade in which you can be assured, that it is safe to consume and will be good for healthy diet. Other than that, in my opinion obesity is inevitable if we stick to the convenience food which is full of sugar and carbohydrates and as i know, people would rather to have healthy life, rather than live with health problems.

382 words

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

January 1, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR): The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear viewpoint. However, a more explicit statement regarding the extent of agreement or disagreement with the initial statement would enhance clarity.
The argument focuses primarily on the benefits of traditional food, and a more balanced discussion could strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The structure of the essay is evident but could benefit from clearer connections and transitions between ideas.
The use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive. Introducing a variety of linking words could improve the flow.

Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is generally appropriate and topic-related, but there is noticeable repetition in phrases.
Some word choices and phrases come across as informal, which may not be best suited for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The essay shows some variety in sentence structures but includes several grammatical errors that could be improved for clarity.
Punctuation and sentence construction need attention for better readability.

Overview: It adequately addresses the prompt with a clear viewpoint but needs improvements in coherence, cohesion, and grammatical accuracy. Focusing on a more balanced argument, clearer transitions, and refined grammar would contribute to a higher band score. Here's a lesson that helps you in writing commas:

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

5.0 may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate

5.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

5.0 makes frequent grammatical errors, and punctuation may be faulty

5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR): The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear viewpoint. However, a more explicit statement regarding the extent of agreement or disagreement with the initial statement would enhance clarity.
The argument focuses primarily on the benefits of traditional food, and a more balanced discussion could strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The structure of the essay is evident but could benefit from clearer connections and transitions between ideas.
The use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive. Introducing a variety of linking words could improve the flow.

Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is generally appropriate and topic-related, but there is noticeable repetition in phrases.
Some word choices and phrases come across as informal, which may not be best suited for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The essay shows some variety in sentence structures but includes several grammatical errors that could be improved for clarity.
Punctuation and sentence construction need attention for better readability.

Overview: It adequately addresses the prompt with a clear viewpoint but needs improvements in coherence, cohesion, and grammatical accuracy. Focusing on a more balanced argument, clearer transitions, and refined grammar would contribute to a higher band score. Here's a lesson that helps you in writing commas:

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In the contemporary world, the proliferation of convenience foods is undeniable. However, the notion that these foods will not only become more common but also completely supplant traditional foods and their preparation methods is one I fundamentally disagree with.

Primarily, traditional foods are deeply ingrained in cultural identities. Across the globe, meals are more than just sustenance; they are a celebration of heritage and history. For instance, the intricate process of making handmade pasta in Italy or the communal activity of preparing a Japanese sushi meal is not merely about eating. These activities are deeply rooted practices, passed down through generations, symbolizing unity, tradition, and identity. The emotional and cultural significance attached to traditional foods and cooking methods is something convenience foods cannot replicate.

Moreover, the recent trend towards health consciousness contradicts the rise of convenience foods. As society becomes more aware of the health implications of their dietary choices, there's a growing preference for fresh, organic produce over processed alternatives. The farm-to-table movement, emphasizing the consumption of locally sourced and unprocessed foods, is a testament to this shift. The burgeoning popularity of dietary lifestyles such as veganism and paleo diets, which often rely on traditional cooking methods and ingredients, further highlights the sustained relevance of traditional foods.

Furthermore, the culinary arts are continually evolving, yet they maintain a respect for tradition. Many professional chefs and culinary enthusiasts are advocates for preserving traditional cooking methods, viewing them as an art form that deserves to be preserved and celebrated. This appreciation for the culinary arts ensures that traditional methods of food preparation will continue to be practiced and valued.

In conclusion, while convenience foods will undoubtedly continue to play a significant role in our fast-paced lifestyles, they are unlikely to replace traditional foods and cooking methods. The cultural, health, and culinary significance of traditional foods ensures their longevity and continued preference in our diets. Therefore, it is my firm belief that traditional foods will coexist with convenience foods, each serving their unique purposes in our lives.

335 words