IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3354 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.

To what extent do your agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Health and Well-being, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nobody can live without food and no one wants to spend a lot of time for cooking. Therefore, a lot of people choose convenience food to save their time and sometime we can hear that traditional food going to die. I strongly disagree with it.

Often countries and states are using their traditional dishes to attract tourists. They make it part of the brand, like pizza and wine in Italy. Peoples can buy frozen pizza, but everyone prefers fresh right from the oven in Italy. Best convenience pizza can’t be compared with handmade one.

If you open bestsellers at any site where you can buy books online, then you will see cooking books in the top. It shows that people still want to cook by themselves and not only usual dishes. Some of books composed with recipes from computer games or TV series. I have a Warcraft cooking book by myself and it was hard to find. It contains complicated recipes with long preparation time, but it’s nice to eat something new from time to time.

A lot of family and countries traditions include handmade food. People in USA can’t think about thanksgiving day without turkey or in Russia it’s mandatory to have olivie salad at New Year table. A lot of families has their special recepts for this and they passed from generation to generation. It’s hard to think how this can be replaced with convenience food.

To summarize all. I believe that convenient food can’t fully replace traditional. A lot of counries support gastronomical tourism on giverment level. People still buy a lot of cooking books to learn how to cook. And a lot of families have family receipts for traditional parties. People may eat convenient food to save their time, but it can’t replace traditional one.

299 words

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

December 24, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
- The response directly addresses the prompt by stating a clear disagreement with the opinion that convenience foods will replace traditional foods and methods.
- The argument is supported with relevant examples, such as tourism and cooking books, which help to substantiate the writer's viewpoint.
- The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the writer's opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
- The argument could be made more cohesive with better use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with a good range of words related to the topic.
- There are some spelling errors (e.g., "recepts" should be "recipes", "giverment" should be "government") and colloquial expressions (e.g., "olivie salad" is typically spelled "Olivier salad") that should be corrected for accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The essay demonstrates a range of sentence structures, though there are grammatical errors that need attention (e.g., "no one wants to spend a lot of time for cooking" should be "no one wants to spend a lot of time cooking").
- The use of plural and singular nouns needs to be consistent (e.g., "Peoples can buy" should be "People can buy").

Overall, the essay makes a strong argument against the notion that convenience foods will replace traditional foods. To improve, the response needs to address the spelling and grammatical errors, and use linking words more effectively for better cohesion. Additionally, including a more varied range of complex sentence structures could enhance the grammatical range. The examples used are effective and demonstrate a good understanding of the topic.

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
- The response directly addresses the prompt by stating a clear disagreement with the opinion that convenience foods will replace traditional foods and methods.
- The argument is supported with relevant examples, such as tourism and cooking books, which help to substantiate the writer's viewpoint.
- The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the writer's opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
- The argument could be made more cohesive with better use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with a good range of words related to the topic.
- There are some spelling errors (e.g., "recepts" should be "recipes", "giverment" should be "government") and colloquial expressions (e.g., "olivie salad" is typically spelled "Olivier salad") that should be corrected for accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The essay demonstrates a range of sentence structures, though there are grammatical errors that need attention (e.g., "no one wants to spend a lot of time for cooking" should be "no one wants to spend a lot of time cooking").
- The use of plural and singular nouns needs to be consistent (e.g., "Peoples can buy" should be "People can buy").

Overall, the essay makes a strong argument against the notion that convenience foods will replace traditional foods. To improve, the response needs to address the spelling and grammatical errors, and use linking words more effectively for better cohesion. Additionally, including a more varied range of complex sentence structures could enhance the grammatical range. The examples used are effective and demonstrate a good understanding of the topic.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The prevalence of convenience foods in modern diets is an undeniable trend, stemming from the rapid pace of contemporary life. I concur with the opinion that such foods will not only grow in popularity but may also overshadow traditional culinary customs and practices.

Primarily, the ascent of convenience foods is propelled by the accelerating rhythm of daily life. In today's world, where both parents often work full-time, the time once devoted to elaborate meal preparation has dwindled. Convenience foods offer a practical solution by significantly reducing preparation time. This is not merely a matter of saving minutes; it's about adapting to the new tempo of life where efficiency is paramount.

Moreover, the global food industry has evolved to cater to this growing demand for quick and easy meal options. With the advent of frozen dinners, microwaveable meals, and an array of pre-packaged snacks, the industry has made convenience foods more accessible and palatable to the average consumer. This widespread availability has a homogenizing effect on eating habits, as traditional foods that require lengthy preparation are gradually relegated to special occasions rather than everyday sustenance.

Furthermore, convenience foods are not simply about ease; they also represent a shift in cultural values. There is an increasing inclination toward individualism and personal convenience, which is reflected in food choices. The notion of spending hours in the kitchen is becoming less appealing, and the priority has shifted toward quick, individual servings rather than communal meal preparation.

However, this shift does not necessarily mean the demise of traditional foods. While convenience foods will dominate daily eating habits, traditional cuisine still holds significant cultural importance and is likely to be preserved as a cherished part of heritage and identity. Special festivities and family gatherings will continue to serve as bastions for traditional culinary arts.

In conclusion, the rise of convenience foods is a natural response to the changing landscape of modern lifestyles. While it is likely that these foods will become dominant in our daily diet, traditional foods will persist, though perhaps in a more ceremonial role. The two can coexist, with convenience foods addressing our daily needs and traditional foods providing a cultural and historical anchor during special occasions.

364 words