IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3299 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do your agree or disagree with this opinion?

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Family and Relationships, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Teaching children about what is right and wrong is crucial which some individuals think punishment could be significantly helpful measure in order to teach juveniles as to recognizing either good and bad deeds. I do agree with the necessity of punishing the youth so that they could be aware of how behave themselves, however, I strongly disagree with any kind of physical punishment.

Parents shoulder a huge responsibility for upbringing a child properly to be a responsible person in his or her society in the future. Knowing about what is right and what is wrong is the fundamental part of rearing children at an early age. Thus, sometimes a parent have to punish his or her children to show them the consequences of misbehaving. For instance, when two siblings are playing together and one of them spit on or bit the other one she or he has to be punished otherwise he or she will never understand that what he or she did was wrong. It worth noting that rewarding children when they follow rules is as paramount as punishment because it gives them a sense of worthiness and leads to experiencing the desirable feeling of doing something good. Furthermore, merely punishing children when they do something bad and giving them no reaction for their positive manners could leads to far-reaching consequences such as feeling unworthy or unlovable in their adulthood as well as lack of any punishment in an individual childhood may makes him a selfish irresponsible person. Hence the importance of punishment and rewarding children.

Nonetheless, it is critical how we are supposed to punish a child. I once again reaffirm my position that any form of physical punishment is by no means an acceptable treatment because not even is it not helpful for a child to learn anything good but also will have plenty of psychological problem in his or her parenthood life in the future such as aggression or trust issue. However, we can punish children through depriving them from their favorite activities for a short term or by not giving or buying what they like or postponing it until they understand and learn to behave appropriately.

In conclusion, even though punishment is necessary in the proses of growing children but sometimes we can avoid it and teach a child with rewarding instead.

387 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 14, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Although the number of errors is high, the nature of errors is of little significance. The essay must focus more on proofreading and avoiding as many errors as it can. Here’s a lesson that helps:

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task

8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question

8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas

8.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

6.5

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British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

The notion that it is imperative for children to learn the dichotomy between right and wrong at an early age, with punishment being a necessary tool in this process, is a perspective I firmly disagree with. While instilling a sense of morality in children is undoubtedly vital, the role of punishment in this endeavor requires careful consideration.

To begin with, it is crucial to acknowledge that learning moral values should ideally be a constructive and nurturing experience. Relying on punishment as a primary method to teach the distinction between right and wrong can have adverse consequences. Punishment often instills fear and resentment rather than a genuine understanding of ethics. Children may be motivated to avoid punishment, but it does not necessarily cultivate a deep-rooted sense of morality.

Moreover, the effectiveness of punishment in teaching good behavior is debatable. It can deter undesirable actions but doesn't necessarily promote the internalization of moral values. Children may learn to avoid punishment without truly grasping the ethical principles behind their actions.

Alternative methods, such as positive reinforcement, open communication, and moral guidance, can be more effective in teaching children about right and wrong. Encouraging empathy, discussing the consequences of actions, and setting positive examples are means that can lead to a more profound understanding of morality without the negative repercussions associated with punishment.

In conclusion, while the importance of teaching children the difference between right and wrong is indisputable, the heavy reliance on punishment as a method to achieve this goal is ineffective and potentially harmful. Positive and constructive approaches are more suitable for instilling a genuine understanding of ethics in children.

268 words