IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 2848 – Band 8.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medicine.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The argument over the use of animals to provide food, medicine, and clothing has been ongoing for years. Some people consider the killing of animals to produce food and other products to be unnecessary. I agree with this idea and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay.

These days, we are faced with many public health challenges regarding poor health conditions, including cancer and heart disease, caused by excessive consumption of meat on a regular and long-term basis. Experts are calling for a change in human diets so that people can enjoy better health. Fortunately, many alternative meat products are available on the market. In fact, vegetarian diets are being favored by a growing number of people and can provide the same amount of nutrients for consumers. In particular, mushrooms and tofu contain high levels of protein, a kind of nutrient presumably only found in meat, and can therefore be used as a substitute.

Furthermore, medical experiments on animals and medicines manufactured from animals’ body parts received little endorsement in the past. Nowadays, herbs and many other types of plant-based medicines, such as ginseng, can cure many diseases, prolong human life expectancy, and aid medical practitioners in the treatment of many illnesses. More seriously, thousands of wild animals, such as tigers and minks, are killed each year, with their fur taken to produce coats and accessories for the fashion industry. There are now similar products made from plants and artificial materials that can fulfill our needs. Animals do not have to suffer for our needs anymore.

In conclusion, I think that our needs and desires do not justify the suffering of animals and animal products are no longer necessary. We can choose a different source of nourishment, medicine and clothing without any toll on wild animals.

297 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 11, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 8.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Almost perfect  It might be a better idea to devote one exclusive paragraph to clothing instead of combining it with medicine.


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task
9.0 presents a fully developed position in answer to the question
9.0 with relevant, fully extended, and well-supported ideas
9.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
9.0 uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
9.0 with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features
9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’
9.0 the communication is completely natural
9.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
9.0 with full flexibility and accuracy
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
9.0 communication is completely natural
8.0
8.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Almost perfect  It might be a better idea to devote one exclusive paragraph to clothing instead of combining it with medicine.

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Another Above 7.0 Sample

In contemporary society, the question of whether it is imperative to utilize animals for food, clothing, or medicinal purposes has sparked considerable debate. While some argue that advancements in technology and alternative practices have rendered animal exploitation unnecessary, others contend that certain industries still rely on animals for essential products and services.
Those who advocate for the discontinuation of animal use assert that technological advancements and innovative alternatives have made it feasible to meet human needs without causing harm to animals. Plant-based diets, synthetic materials, and cruelty-free pharmaceuticals are increasingly being embraced as viable substitutes for traditional animal-derived products. Moreover, concerns about animal welfare, environmental sustainability, and public health have fueled calls for transitioning away from animal-based industries.
On the other hand, proponents of continued animal use argue that certain sectors, such as agriculture, fashion, and medicine, still depend on animal-derived resources for various purposes. For instance, livestock farming remains a significant source of food and livelihood for millions of people worldwide, while certain medical treatments and research rely on animal models to advance scientific knowledge and develop lifesaving therapies.
In my opinion, while significant strides have been made towards reducing animal exploitation in certain industries, complete eradication of animal use may not be feasible or practical in the foreseeable future. Instead, a pragmatic approach that balances ethical considerations, environmental concerns, and human needs is necessary. This may involve promoting alternatives to animal products where feasible, implementing stringent welfare standards in animal industries, and investing in research to develop sustainable solutions.
In conclusion, while the necessity of using animals for food, clothing, or medicine may have diminished in some contexts, complete cessation of animal exploitation remains a complex and multifaceted issue. A nuanced approach that acknowledges the various factors at play is essential for fostering ethical and sustainable practices while ensuring the well-being of both humans and animals.
308 words

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