Protected: IELTS Writing Task 1 Report sample 3429 – Band 6.5

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

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157 words
Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

February 22, 2020

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
7.0 covers the requirements of the task
7.0 clearly presents and highlights key features
7.0 could be more fully extended
9.0 presents a clear overview of main trends, differences, or stages
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this report. It effectively identifies key trends in the data, including the steady rise of hiking, the decline and recovery of reading and theatre, and the sharp increase in internet usage. However, some descriptions lack precision, and certain trends could be more clearly explained with specific figures. Additionally, there are several vocabulary errors (e.g., "preffered" → "preferred," "maintanined" → "maintained") and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve coherence. Overall, the report demonstrates a good understanding of the task but would benefit from improved accuracy (decades not years), vocabulary, and fluency.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The line graph illustrates how elderly individuals in the United States spent their free time from the 1980s to the 2010s.
Overall, hiking exhibited the most significant increase, surpassing all other activities by the 2010s. Watching TV remained the most popular activity for much of the period but experienced a slight decline in the final decade. Meanwhile, internet usage showed a steady rise, particularly from the 2000s onward. Reading and theatre attendance fluctuated, both experiencing declines before recovering in the 2010s.
Hiking saw a dramatic increase, rising from 20% in the 1980s to 80% by the 2010s, making it the most popular activity in the final decade. Watching TV, while consistently high, peaked at 70% in the 2000s before slightly dropping to around 65% in the 2010s. Surfing the internet started at just 5% in the 1980s but grew tenfold, reaching 50% by the 2010s. Reading declined sharply from 40% in the 1990s to 20% in the 2000s before rebounding to 60% in the 2010s. Similarly, theatre attendance fell from 50% in the 1990s to 30% in the 2000s, then recovered to 45% in the final decade.
In summary, while traditional activities such as watching TV and theatre attendance experienced fluctuations, hiking and internet use gained popularity, reflecting a shift towards more active and technology-driven pastimes among the elderly.
220 words

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