Protected: IELTS Writing Task 1 Report sample 3412 – Band 5.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.

Science and Research, Task 1 report, Work and Employment, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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241 words

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

October 31, 2020

This is an IELTS writing band 5.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)

4.0 attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features; the format may be inappropriate

4.0 may confuse key features with detail

4.0 parts may be unclear, irrelevant, repetitive, or inaccurate

5.0 presents no clear overview

4.0

Coherence and Cohesion

5.0 presents information with some organization

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

5.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this report. The IELTS Task 1 rubric places a high emphasis on summarizing key features and making relevant comparisons. In this response, comparisons are present but feel arbitrary and disjointed, with the overall narrative failing to provide a clear analysis of the data. This limited insight into key trends, combined with inaccuracies, reduces the response’s ability to fulfill the task requirements effectively. Hence, a Band 4 in Task Achievement is appropriate due to a lack of meaningful comparisons and clarity in data interpretation.

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The 5.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The bar charts display the percentage of employees in agriculture, industry, and services sectors across four countries—Germany, the USA, Japan, and China—in the years 1980 and 2010. Overall, industry was the dominant employment sector in most countries by 2010, with significant increases in industrial employment in Germany and Japan. Conversely, agriculture saw a sharp decline in China, though it remained higher there compared to the other countries. The services sector was relatively stable over time, particularly in Germany and the USA, although it dropped slightly in Japan and China.

In 1980, Germany had the highest percentage of workers in industry at around 60%, followed by the USA (50%) and Japan (40%). In contrast, China’s industrial workforce was relatively low at 30%, with most of its labor force concentrated in agriculture, at nearly 70%. Agriculture, however, was minimally represented in Germany and Japan, where it accounted for less than 10% of employment. Services showed moderate employment levels across all countries, with Germany and the USA employing around 40-50% of their workforce in this sector, and China having a comparable level at approximately 40%.

By 2010, Germany and Japan experienced notable increases in industry employment, reaching around 80% in both countries. The USA also maintained a high industrial employment rate at 70%, while China’s industry sector saw a small rise to around 40%. Agriculture remained low in Germany, the USA, and Japan, each at roughly 5-10%, but in China, the share dropped significantly to 40%, indicating a shift toward industrialization. Meanwhile, the services sector saw slight declines across all countries, with Germany and the USA at about 30-40%, Japan around 30%, and China at approximately 20%.

In summary, industry became the predominant sector in Germany, the USA, and Japan by 2010, while China showed a significant movement away from agriculture, though still employing a notable proportion in this sector. Services remained stable overall, though with slight declines in each country.

325 words

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