IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3330 – Band 5.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows the percentage of five North American lakes covered in ice during two 20-year periods.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The supplied chart below indicates the precentage of five North American great lakes ice cover during 20 years period from (1973) to (2012).

Moving to the Superior, in 1973 covered nearly, a quarter of ice which in 1992 to 2012 dropped to the almost, 15 percents. However, in Michigan the percentage decreased to approximately, less than a fifth in 1973 and in 2012 reached to roughly, 10 percents in contrast to the Superior that had the massive change in 1973 but then again, there was change intermittently from 1992 to 2012.

In Huron in,1973 reached to nearly, 27 percents and in, 1992 and 2012 jumped to almost, a fifth comparing to the Superior and Michigan which was below than 10 perecnts and 15 percents. That being said In Erie in, 1973 the cover of ice exceeded and reached the vertex which was less than a third and furthermore, from 1992 to 2012 reached to the highest point which was roughly, 27 percents. Moving to the last lake Ontario remained steady in 1973 and 1992 to 2012 and collapsed in contrast with other four lakes in both periods of time in 1973 touched very small number and in 1992 to 2012 reached to even below than 5 percents.

As an overview trend, there was a massive change from Superior to Ontario during these periods In Erie in both, 1973 and 1992 to 2012 touched the apex and in Ontario touched the lowest point which was one in twenty and below than 5 percents.

252 words
Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

August 11, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 5.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this report. The report can use multiple areas to improve its final score; for instance, the use of words like “… it jumped to a fifth …” or phrases like “That being said,” without sufficient context, or grammatical structures like “Moving to the Superior, in 1973 covered nearly, a quarter of ice” where the subject is missing, cause massive confusion for the reader. It is best to produce correct and healthy sentences even if they tend to be more straightforward. The report, however, is successful in identifying and addressing the main areas of the visual although it could have more clarity in reporting data; comparing lakes should have been based on a more logical ground; in other words, the ice-covered area from one lake did not decrease to reach another ice-covered area for another lake; the word “decrease” may not be a good fit here as this comparison does not make much sense


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
8.0 covers all requirements of the task sufficiently
7.0 clearly presents and highlights key features
6.0 details may be irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate
6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. The report can use multiple areas to improve its final score; for instance, the use of words like “… it jumped to a fifth …” or phrases like “That being said,” without sufficient context, or grammatical structures like “Moving to the Superior, in 1973 covered nearly, a quarter of ice” where the subject is missing, cause massive confusion for the reader. It is best to produce correct and healthy sentences even if they tend to be more straightforward. The report, however, is successful in identifying and addressing the main areas of the visual although it could have more clarity in reporting data; comparing lakes should have been based on a more logical ground; in other words, the ice-covered area from one lake did not decrease to reach another ice-covered area for another lake; the word “decrease” may not be a good fit here as this comparison does not make much sense

IELTS Juice YouTube Channel

IELTS Juice

IELTS Juice is brought to you by Juice Academy, registered in ‌British Columbia, Canada. On this channel, experienced English teachers and IELTS experts provide lessons, tips, and guidance to help you improve your English and achieve the best results in the IELTS exam.

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

The 5.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The provided chart presents data regarding the percentage of ice coverage on five prominent North American lakes over two distinct 20-year periods. Specifically, the chart compares the average ice cover of the Great Lakes during the periods of 1973-1992 with that of 1993-2012. The lakes considered in this analysis are Lake Superior, Lake Michigan, Lake Huron, Lake Erie, and Lake Ontario. Overall, the chart reveals fluctuations in ice coverage percentages across the two specified 20-year time spans for the Great Lakes.
In the period from 1973 to 1992, the Great Lakes experienced varying degrees of ice coverage. Lake Superior, the largest of the Great Lakes, exhibited the highest average ice coverage at approximately 52%. Lake Huron and Lake Michigan, being adjacent to each other, displayed similar patterns with an average ice coverage of around 37% and 33% respectively. Lake Erie, the shallowest of the Great Lakes, recorded a comparatively lower average ice coverage of roughly 25%. Lake Ontario, the smallest of the Great Lakes, showed the least ice coverage with an average of about 13%.
In contrast, during the period from 1993 to 2012, the average ice coverage percentages for the Great Lakes showed a downward trend. Lake Superior's average ice coverage decreased to approximately 42%, signifying a reduction in ice cover. Lake Huron and Lake Michigan also experienced declines in their average ice coverage, dropping to around 27% and 23% respectively. Lake Erie demonstrated a noticeable decrease in average ice coverage, reaching about 12%, while Lake Ontario's average ice coverage remained relatively stable, registering a slight decrease to roughly 11%.
In summary, the chart presents a comparison of the average ice coverage percentages for the Great Lakes during two 20-year periods: 1973-1992 and 1993-2012. The data highlights fluctuations in ice coverage, with a general trend of decreasing average ice coverage for most of the Great Lakes during the latter period.
291 words

Read similar samples

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


$59
IELTS Listening Course

IELTS Listening

Best approaches to each part of the IELTS Listening test

$79

IELTS Reading

All the strategies you need for success in IELTS reading

$99
IELTS writing

IELTS Writing

How to write letters, reports & essays based on IELTS criteria

$49
IELTS Speaking

IELTS Speaking

Top tips and speaking practice materials for the three parts

$19

IELTS Essential Words

Absolutely essential words for the IELTS test

Free

What’s IELTS

An introductory course providing an overview of the IELTS test and format.

Free

One Word or Two

Focusing on words that may appear to be composed of two separate parts but are, in fact, written as a single word.