IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3296 – Band 6.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

A glance at the two pie charts provided reveals a number of clear difference between the proportions of an average Australian family energy use in various form (namely water heating, heating, cooling, lighting, refrigeration and other appliances) and the percentage of CFC release that every energy source listed before is responsible for it.

It is evident from the information supplied that heating and heating water have the two largest proportion with 42 and 30 percent respectively, in stark contrast however, cooling with merely 2 percent and lighting with only 4 percent take place for the lowest percentage of using energy. Refrigeration and other appliances have moderate rate in using energy with 7 and 15 percent respectively.

With regard to producing co2, water heating and other appliances release the highest percentage of greenhouse gas at 32 and 28 percent respectively. However, it is worth nothing that the former CFC emission is almost the same as household use of energy while the latter produced some twice as it use for energy. One particularly interesting fact highlighted by the figures is that the amount of emissions are more than the proportion of energy use except for heating. While CFC release caused by refrigeration, lighting and cooling are double than those of energy use for heating is almost three times less than that of energy use.

214 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

January 28, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
7.0 covers the requirements of the task
6.0 presents and adequately highlights key features
6.0 details may be irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate
6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. We are not allowed to interpret, add, or remove information from the rubric. Our job at IELTS reports is to only change picture(s) to words. That means if there is no mention of CFC, then we are not allowed to predict the greenhouse gas type.
Another major error is called “factual mistake”. When reporting the data, it is important to make sure the words, numbers, and analogies are as accurate as possible. The very last sentence is incorrectly punctuated, making it very difficult to factually check the presented data.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

This report will summarize the key features of the two charts provided, which show energy use and greenhouse gas emissions in Australian households. The most significant piece of information from the image is that water heating accounts for the largest share of both energy use (30%) and greenhouse gas emissions (32%) in Australian households.
The first chart shows that water heating is the largest component of energy use in Australian households, accounting for 30%. It is followed by heating (42%), cooling (3%), lighting (4%), refrigeration (7%), and other appliances (15%).
The second chart shows that water heating is also the largest source of greenhouse gas emissions from Australian households, accounting for 32%. It is followed by cooling (15%), other appliances (28%), heating (14%), refrigeration (14%), and lighting (8%).
One notable feature of the charts is that the top three energy uses (water heating, heating, and cooling) account for over 70% of both energy use and greenhouse gas emissions in Australian households. This suggests that these are the areas where the greatest potential for energy savings and emissions reductions lies.
Another notable feature is that water heating is the largest single source of both energy use and greenhouse gas emissions. This is likely due to the fact that Australian homes typically have large water tanks and use electric or gas hot water systems.
In conclusion, the two charts show that water heating is the largest component of both energy use and greenhouse gas emissions in Australian households. This suggests that water heating is a key area where energy savings and emissions reductions can be achieved.
161 words

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