IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3270 – Band 6.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The bar chart given illustrates the number of visitors of various entertaining places in thousands , and the table provides the data about the ticket prices for individuals and families . Both charts represent information by 2009 . Overall , cinema was the most popular entertainment category (more than 1 million visitor during the period) with the cheapest admission price ($15 for individuals and $55 for families with 4 members) .

Looking at the bar chart , theme parks were the second most demanded attraction in 2009 , and the number of thickets sold accounted more than 300 thousand ; while sport events generated only about 170 thousand admissions .

According to the table , admission price for a single visitor varied from $15 to $75 and the football games were the most expensive activities . It needs to be mentioned that all the family ticket offers contained the discount on average ticket price , but the theme parks had the best value proposition for family groups (about 25 per cent discount on $70 ticket) . The second most beneficial family discount had cricket games (about 17%) . At the same time , cricket was the cheapest sports category followed by basketball , and the admission prices were $24 and $34 respectively . As I mentioned above football tickets were the most pricey ($73 per ticket on average) .

229 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

January 19, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
6.0 addresses the requirements of the task
7.0 clearly presents and highlights key features
7.0 could be more fully extended
6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA): The response adequately summarizes the information from the bar chart and table, highlighting the main features such as the popularity of cinema, the varying attendance at different entertainment venues, and the admission prices for individuals and families. The comparisons drawn between theme parks, sports events, and the family ticket discounts are relevant to the task. To improve task achievement, it might be a better idea to include more numbers visible on the chart instead of purely focusing on percentages and calculations.

Coherence and Cohesion(CC): The report is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and coherent body paragraphs. The writer effectively presents information from both the bar chart and table, providing a logical flow of details. However, a concluding summary could enhance the overall cohesion and give the report a more definitive closure.

Lexical Resource (LR): The writer uses a satisfactory range of vocabulary related to attendance, admission prices, and entertainment venues. Terms like "value proposition," "discount," and "admission prices" contribute to the overall lexical resource. However, more variety in describing the popularity of venues (e.g., "thickets sold" could be replaced with "tickets sold") and varied expressions for summarizing data could enhance the lexical richness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with well-constructed sentences and accurate use of tenses. There are some minor grammatical errors, such as "more than 1 million visitor" (should be "visitors"), which, if corrected, would improve the overall accuracy.

Overall: This response effectively addresses the task requirements by summarizing the main features of the bar chart and table and making relevant comparisons. The information is presented clearly, and the analysis of attendance and admission prices is well-supported. A minor improvement in lexical variety and addressing some grammatical errors would enhance the overall quality of the report.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The bar chart shows the attendance at cinemas, theme parks and sports events in 2009. The table presents the price of admission for one person and a family of four to different events.
In 2009, cinemas were the most popular entertainment choice, with over 1 million attendees. This is more than three times the number of people who went to theme parks, and more than six times the number who went to sporting events.
The price of admission also varied considerably between the three types of entertainment. Cinemas were the cheapest option, with a ticket costing $15 and a family ticket costing $55. Theme parks were more expensive, with a ticket costing $70 and a family ticket costing $210. Sporting events were the most costly, with a ticket costing an average of $72 and a family ticket costing an average of $285. The list of sporting events to watch includes football games, i.e., AFL, NRL, and NRU, and two other games: basketball and cricket.
Overall, the data shows that cinemas were the most popular entertainment option in 2009, and they were also the cheapest option. Sports venues were the least popular option, and they were also the most expensive option. Theme parks were in the middle in terms of both popularity and price.
213 words

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