IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3147 – Band 6.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows information about wages for health care professionals in four different countries.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

IELTS-JUICE-Writing-Task-1-report-sample-3147-Band-6-5

Society and Community, Task 1 report, Work and Employment, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The given table represents average salaries per month for two occupations in the health care sector: Doctors and nurses. The sample data distributed across four countries.

Obviously, source countries offer low payment amounts for both careers. Country A seems to be the poorest because nurses and doctors only earn $32, $64 per month, respectively. Whereas Country B, at the same time, they can get approximately ten times more. Nevertheless, these wages are still far away from destination nations.

In Countries C and D, which have been defined as a destination for health care immigrant workers, wages jump up significantly. Nurses in country C can get paid 2900$ monthly but 500$ more in Country D. Besides that, Doctors have the highest salaries levels can be as two times more than nurses in C, but its three times in Country D, which is considered the lucrative chances for them.

Generally, Countries that trained skilled human resources for medical services providers are poor payers, unlike destination countries that receive professionals and reward them generously.

171 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 4, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)

6.0 addresses the requirements of the task

6.0 presents and adequately highlights key features

7.0 could be more fully extended

6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

9.0 the communication is completely natural

7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report. Task Achievement (TA)
The report addresses the requirements of the task, which involves summarizing the main features of the chart and making relevant comparisons. The writer has attempted to summarize the data and make comparisons between the source and destination countries. However, the report could have more explicitly described the differences in salaries between nurses and doctors within the same country. Moreover, the introduction does not clearly paraphrase the question, and there is no overview paragraph that summarizes the main trends or features.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC)
The text is organized and information is sequenced logically. The writer uses linking words ("Whereas," "Besides that," "Nevertheless") to connect ideas. However, the overall cohesion could be improved with better paragraphing, especially by including an overview paragraph at the beginning or end. The text is organized but could be improved in terms of paragraphing and overall flow.

Lexical Resource (LR)
The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary ("lucrative chances," "skilled human resources," "medical services providers"). However, some word choices are less appropriate ("poorest" could be replaced with "lowest paying"). There are also some inaccuracies ("nurses and doctors only earn $32, $64 per month, respectively" should be $35 for nurses based on the chart).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA)
There are several grammatical errors ("are poor payers," "salaries levels," "its three times"), and some sentence structures could be more complex to fully meet the criteria for a higher band; the errors present can hinder the reader's understanding. Here’s a good read:

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The chart presents data on the average monthly salaries of nurses and doctors in four distinct countries, labeled A through D. It appears that Countries C and D are the destinations for health care professionals from abroad, while Countries A and B are source countries, exporting healthcare professionals to other nations.

A striking disparity in wages is evident between source and destination countries. For nurses, salaries range from a mere $35 in Country A to $3420 in Country D, which is almost a hundredfold increase. Similarly, doctors in Country A earn $64 on average, which is a fraction of the $10200 monthly income for their counterparts in Country D.

Country B's health care professionals earn significantly more than those in Country A, with nurses receiving $350 and doctors $700, suggesting a tenfold difference within the source countries themselves. Conversely, the salary gap between Countries C and D, both destination countries, is less pronounced but still substantial, with nurses in Country D earning approximately $520 more than those in Country C, and doctors in Country D earning nearly double the salary of doctors in Country C.

Overall, the data underscores a significant wage gradient from source to destination countries for health care workers, reflecting perhaps the varying economic statuses and health care investment levels in these nations.

217 words

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