IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 3081 – Band 5.0

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The given diagrams illustrates some alters in construction of secondary school at west park between 1950 and 2010. Overall, science block cannot be seen in 1950,however, in 1980 and 30 years later, 2010, the block is easily noticeable.

According to the graph, houses have been omitted in 1980 and it is devoted to car park which was not available in 1950. It is noteworthy that in 2010 the car park is more spacious due in part to limitation of sports field and play ground.

In 1950, there is a farmland which is about 25 percent of the map, and it changed to sports field after 30 years and in 2010 the size changed to half.

Size and location of main building remained fairly stable(on the right side of the map) and does not meet any changes during the mentioned years.

141 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

May 18, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
6.0 addresses the requirements of the task
5.0 presents, but inadequately covers, key features
6.0 details may be irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate
6.0 presents an overview with information appropriately selected
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report.
Task Achievement (TA): The response provides a minimal overview and some development of the main features. The text explains the basic changes over the years but does not cover all key comparisons or developments comprehensively. For instance, it mentions the construction of the science block, but lacks detail about the evolution of other elements like the school playground and sports field, which are also significant.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The report is organized with basic logical sequencing. However, the transitions between ideas are minimal, making the overall flow somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and does not effectively structure the information.

Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is adequate for basic descriptions and comparisons (e.g., "spacious," "noteworthy"). However, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there are some inaccuracies in word choice ("alters" should be "alterations" or "changes," "it is devoted to" should be "converted into").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The grammar shows a mix of simple and a few complex structures. There are several grammatical errors ("cannot be seen" could be better expressed as "is not present," "does not meet any changes" should be "does not undergo any changes"). These errors impact the clarity and accuracy of the report.

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The 5.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The given diagrams illustrate the changes in the construction of West Park Secondary School between 1950 and 2010. Overall, the most notable alterations include the addition of a science block and the expansion of the car park at the expense of the sports field and playground.
In 1950, the school complex included houses, farmland, a school building, and a playground. By 1980, significant changes had occurred. The houses were removed and replaced by a car park and a science block. The farmland was converted into a sports field, while the playground remained in its original location. The main school building stayed unchanged in terms of size and position, remaining on the right side of the map.
Comparing 1980 to 2010, further modifications were made. The car park was expanded, reducing the size of the sports field. The science block and the main school building maintained their positions, but the sports field was halved to accommodate the larger car park. The playground, though slightly reduced, continued to occupy the same area on the map.
In conclusion, West Park Secondary School has undergone substantial changes over the 60-year period, with the most significant developments being the introduction of a science block and the expansion of the car park, which resulted in the reduction of the sports field and playground areas.
202 words

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