IELTS Writing Task 1 report sample 2918 – Band 6.5

Academic IELTS Writing Task 1 - Report

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The pie charts compare the breakdown in percentages of people according to their age group (0-14 years, 15-59 years, and 60 plus) in Yemen and Italy in the year 2000 and a forecast for 2050. Units are measured in percentages. Overall, it is estimated that compared to the year 2000 there will be an increase in the percentage of people who are 60 or more in both countries in 2050.

In 2000, in Yemen, 0-14 years old comprised of almost half of the total population by 50.1%, as opposed to the group of 60 plus which only accounted for 3.6 %. 15-59 years old by 46.3% got the second place in the aforementioned year. However, it is predicted that the percentage of this group and 60 plus increasing to 57.3% and 5.7% respectively in 2050. In contrast, the percentage of 0-14 years old will fall to 37.0% in 2050.

Turning to Italy, 15-59 year old made up less than two-thirds of the total by 61.6%. This percentage is estimated to decline to 46.2% in 2050. Similarly, in 2000, 0-14 years old was only 14.3%, and it is forecasted to drop to 11.5% in 2050. On the other hand, almost a quarter accounted for the group of 60+ in the year 2000. This percentage will experience a notable increase to 42.3% in 2050.

222 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

May 30, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (Ac)
7.0 covers the requirements of the task
8.0 presents, highlights and illustrates key features clearly and appropriately
7.0 could be more fully extended
9.0 presents a clear overview of main trends, differences, or stages
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this report.
Task Achievement (TA):
The report effectively summarizes the key features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between the age groups in Yemen and Italy for the years 2000 and 2050. However, the descriptions are sometimes unclear or imprecise, and some details are misinterpreted. For instance, the phrase "50.1%, as opposed to the group of 60 plus which only accounted for 3.6%" could be clearer. Additionally, the summary could better highlight the significant trends and changes over time.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The report is well-organized, with a logical flow that includes an introduction, detailed analysis for each country, and appropriate comparisons. The use of linking words and phrases is effective, and the paragraphs are connected smoothly. However, some sentences are overly complex, which can hinder readability. Simplifying these sentences and ensuring a more varied use of linking phrases could further enhance the coherence and cohesion of the text.

Lexical Resource (LR):
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task and includes some variety, demonstrating a good range of lexical resource. However, there are some awkward word choices and repetitions. More sophisticated vocabulary and correct usage would improve the overall quality of the report. Phrases like "comprised of almost half" and "got the second place" are awkward and could be phrased better.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
The report uses a variety of grammatical structures, including complex sentences, and most sentences are grammatically correct. Nonetheless, there are errors in subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and punctuation, which affect readability. Improved grammatical accuracy and more careful proofreading are needed. For example, "comprised of" should be "comprised almost half," and "made up less than two-thirds of the total by 61.6%" should be "made up less than two-thirds of the total, at 61.6%."

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The pie charts illustrate the age distribution of the populations in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projected figures for 2050, divided into three age groups: 0-14 years, 15-59 years, and 60+ years. Overall, both countries are expected to see an increase in the proportion of elderly people by 2050.
In 2000, Yemen had a young population, with 50.1% aged 0-14 years, 46.3% aged 15-59 years, and only 3.6% aged 60 and above. By 2050, the 0-14 age group is predicted to decrease to 37.0%, while the 15-59 age group is expected to rise to 57.3%, and the 60+ group to 5.7%.
In Italy, the 15-59 age group was the largest in 2000, at 61.6%, followed by the 0-14 age group at 14.3%, and the 60+ age group at 24.1%. By 2050, the 15-59 group is projected to decline to 46.2%, and the 0-14 group to 11.5%. In contrast, the 60+ group is expected to rise significantly to 42.3%.
In summary, Yemen will see a reduction in its younger population and an increase in its working-age and elderly populations. Italy will experience a decline in both its younger and working-age populations, with a substantial rise in the elderly demographic.
221 words

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