Protected: IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay sample 3437 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think the money spent on developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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272 words
Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

November 24, 2021

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. It clearly answered the question and stated a strong position; the two main ideas (infrastructure and education) are relevant and logically organized, so the reader can follow the essay's argument easily. However, its development stays a bit broad, and the examples don’t feel fully credible or carefully framed, which reduces the strength of the essay's position. Cohesion is generally fine, but some linking phrases are slightly mechanical and a few sentences run on too long. Vocabulary range is adequate for Band 6, yet there are noticeable collocation and word-form issues (e.g., unnatural phrases like “space exploring technology” or “attention for improve”), plus some repetition. Grammar is the main limiter: frequent comma splices, tense slips, and article/preposition errors appear often enough to hold the score at Band 6 for accuracy. If the essay keeps the same structure but add deeper cause–effect explanation, use more believable examples, and tighten sentence control and academic phrasing, it’d move up quickly.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

Some people argue that the vast sums invested in space-exploration technology are not warranted and should be redirected to areas that improve life on Earth. I completely agree. While space research may bring scientific prestige, the opportunity cost is too high when many societies still struggle with basic urban services and outdated education systems.
To begin with, improving city infrastructure deserves far more priority than funding space programmes. In many countries, citizens deal daily with unreliable transport networks, poor housing standards, and weak public utilities. Allocating large budgets to space missions does little to address these urgent problems, whereas investment in roads, clean water systems, and affordable housing can raise living standards almost immediately. Better infrastructure also supports economic activity, creates jobs, and helps reduce social issues such as crime that often grow in neglected urban areas. For example, when governments in developing regions focus on upgrading public transport and basic services, cities become safer and more productive, and people feel the benefits in their everyday lives.
A second, equally important priority is education. In numerous systems, teaching still relies heavily on memorisation, leaving students unprepared for modern workplaces that demand problem-solving and creativity. If a portion of space budgets were instead used to train teachers, modernise curricula, and improve school facilities, societies would gain long-term returns through a more skilled and adaptable workforce. Countries that have shifted toward practical, student-centred learning provide a useful model. In parts of Northern Europe, for instance, classrooms emphasise projects and real-world tasks, helping young people develop employable skills earlier and lowering youth unemployment over time.
Admittedly, supporters of space exploration claim that such research can produce breakthroughs—like satellite technology or medical innovations—that later benefit humanity. This is true to some extent. However, these indirect gains cannot justify continuous spending on extremely costly missions when critical needs at home remain unresolved. A balanced approach might allow limited space research, but only after essential public priorities are properly funded.
In conclusion, although space technology may contribute to scientific progress, directing major public budgets toward it is difficult to defend. Governments should prioritise improving urban infrastructure and reforming education, because these investments deliver clearer, faster, and wider benefits for society.
307 words

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