Protected: IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay sample 3431 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Countries such as China, India, and Japan have unsustainable population growth. In fact, many experts are of the opinion that the population ‘explosion’, which is now a very worrying concern, is the most serious threat to life on this planet.

Give some suggestions to address this problem.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Culture and Traditions, Economy and Business, Health and Well-being, Policies and Government, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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348 words

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

February 26, 2020

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

9.0 sequences information and ideas logically

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

9.0 the communication is completely natural

7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

6.5

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. The essay addresses all aspects of the prompt, providing both causes and potential solutions to overpopulation. Ideas are logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Linking phrases are used effectively (Another suggestion is..., In conclusion, nonetheless, additionally). Several grammar mistakes lower the clarity of ideas ("Earth overpopulation became has become..." → Incorrect tense shift).

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

Overpopulation has become a significant concern in recent years. Countries such as India and China have populations exceeding one billion, raising fears about the ability to sustain such numbers. Rapid population growth not only affects economies and societies but also poses a threat to the long-term survival of humanity. Addressing this issue requires effective land distribution strategies and policy measures to regulate population growth.

Some argue that overpopulation is not solely a matter of excessive numbers, but rather poor population distribution. Large urban centers become overcrowded, while rural areas remain underdeveloped. A potential solution is to redistribute the population by encouraging migration to less populated areas, alongside government investment in infrastructure, healthcare, and job opportunities. This approach could optimize resource use, ease pressure on urban centers, and foster balanced national development.

Another approach is to implement family planning policies that limit the number of births per household. While China’s past one-child policy effectively curbed population growth, it also led to unintended consequences, such as an aging population and labor shortages. Strict birth control laws can be controversial, as they infringe on individual freedoms. Instead, raising awareness about the benefits of smaller families through education and incentives—such as tax benefits or financial support—may encourage voluntary participation in population control efforts.

In conclusion, while overpopulation poses significant challenges, strategic urban planning and rural development can help distribute people more efficiently, alleviating strain on crowded cities. Additionally, promoting responsible family planning without imposing restrictive laws can help maintain a sustainable population balance. Policymakers should carefully consider both ethical and economic implications when addressing this complex issue.

268 words

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