Protected: IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay sample 3426 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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298 words
Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

November 4, 2020

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
7.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. The essay responds well to all parts of the question and maintains a clear argument; adding a more concrete example or data could push it firmly to the higher end. The vocabulary range is quite strong, but multiple spelling errors prevent it from reaching a higher band. There are a few minor subject–verb agreement issues (e.g., “so does our habits” should be “so do our habits”).
Some run-on sentences where two clauses are joined with just a comma instead of proper punctuation or a conjunction.

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It is undeniable that earlier generations led notably active lifestyles and followed more balanced diets. As the world continues to evolve, so do our habits. Many people worry that the growing prevalence of fast-food culture and sedentary routines has a detrimental effect on children’s health. I firmly believe that today’s diet and way of living pose a serious threat to the well-being of younger generations, and I will elaborate on this in the following paragraphs.
One major issue is the convenience-driven food culture. Thanks to rapid technological advances and widespread delivery services, ordering meals at home has never been easier. Although this approach saves time and effort, it often involves consuming calorie-dense, oily, and highly processed foods. Over time, such unhealthy eating patterns can lead to conditions like high cholesterol, diabetes, and hypertension among the young. For example, recent studies indicate that childhood obesity rates in many developed nations have tripled over the past few decades. Additionally, restaurants, food trucks, and cafés are readily accessible and affordable, making it simpler for children and adolescents to pick up lunch or dinner on the go and perpetuating a cycle of poor dietary choices.
Another contributing factor is the decline in regular physical activity compared to previous generations. In the past, people typically walked or cycled to work, performed more labor-intensive jobs, and participated in regular exercise sessions at school. Nowadays, many educational institutions prioritize academic subjects and standardized testing over physical education, providing fewer organized opportunities for children to stay active. Although gyms and extracurricular sports exist, they often require fees and additional time that some families simply cannot spare.
In conclusion, modern eating habits and an increasingly sedentary lifestyle place young people at a higher risk of chronic health problems. The abundance of inexpensive, unhealthy food options—and the ease with which they can be obtained—exacerbates these issues. To safeguard the next generation, it is essential for families and schools to collaborate by promoting healthier dietary habits and ensuring that regular physical activities remain an integral part of children’s lives.
340 words

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