Protected: IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay sample 3423 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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473 words

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

November 21, 2020

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the writer provides examples like renovating historical sites and improving education, the arguments lack sufficient depth and clear connections to the main topic. Repetition of ideas, such as the focus on spending money to improve life on Earth, makes the writing less engaging.

The essay follows a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward sentence constructions and imprecise connections between ideas. Some sentences are overly long or repetitive, which affects readability.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The debate over whether governments should allocate public funds to search for extraterrestrial life is highly contentious. While some believe this endeavor could lead to significant scientific discoveries, others argue that these resources should instead be used to address urgent issues on Earth. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint.

Advocates of investing in space exploration and the search for life beyond Earth often point to the potential long-term benefits. Scientific research into extraterrestrial life could deepen our understanding of the universe, answer fundamental questions about the origins of life, and even provide technological advancements. For instance, studying the atmospheres of other planets might lead to innovations in environmental science, helping humanity better understand climate change. Moreover, supporters argue that space exploration inspires curiosity and innovation, which can motivate younger generations to pursue careers in science and technology. Thus, they see it as an investment not only in knowledge but also in the future of humanity.

Conversely, critics view such expenditures as unnecessary when the world faces pressing problems. Poverty, healthcare, education, and environmental crises demand immediate attention and resources. Allocating funds to space exploration while millions of people lack access to clean water or basic healthcare appears unethical to many. For example, rebuilding infrastructure, improving public services, and tackling issues like homelessness could have a direct and immediate impact on society. Furthermore, opponents highlight that space missions are extraordinarily costly, with no guarantee of tangible results. They argue that public funds should prioritize projects that benefit the majority of citizens in a direct and measurable way.

In my opinion, while the search for extraterrestrial life is an intriguing and worthwhile scientific pursuit, it should not take precedence over addressing critical challenges on Earth. Governments have a responsibility to use public funds wisely and prioritize initiatives that enhance the well-being of their citizens. For example, investing in education by providing skilled teachers and modern facilities could raise the standard of living and foster innovation within society. Additionally, resolving issues like climate change and poverty will create a more sustainable and equitable world, benefiting humanity as a whole. Only when Earth’s most urgent needs are adequately addressed should governments consider devoting significant resources to space exploration.

In conclusion, although the search for life on other planets holds scientific appeal, I believe that public funds should primarily be used to solve problems on Earth. By addressing immediate challenges such as education, poverty, and environmental degradation, we can ensure a better future for all. Once humanity has achieved stability and progress on our planet, only then should we explore the possibility of expanding beyond it.

439 words

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