Protected: IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay sample 3420 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In some countries, students live at home with their family while they study at university, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.

Do the advantages of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Education, Family and Relationships, Health and Well-being, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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307 words

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

November 12, 2020

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. The essay addresses the topic effectively, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad versus staying at home. Some points could be developed more fully, and there are occasional vague statements. For example, "This way, they are able to learn how to manage money properly" could benefit from more concrete examples. Additionally, the conclusion is somewhat brief and could include a stronger final opinion.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

Students from all around the world attend university abroad, living far from home, while others remain in their home country for their studies. Both options have significant benefits and drawbacks, especially for students in international exchange programs like Erasmus.

Studying abroad offers students a chance to develop independence and gain a deeper understanding of adult responsibilities. Living away from family often requires students to find part-time work to cover expenses like rent and food. This experience can teach them financial management skills, as they are responsible for paying bills, budgeting, and handling administrative matters that they might not encounter if they remained at home with parental support. Additionally, studying in a foreign country provides an excellent opportunity to become proficient in a new language, a skill highly valued in today’s globalized job market. Many students choose their destination specifically to immerse themselves in the language they wish to master, which can enhance their career prospects.

However, adapting to a new country can be challenging, especially for students who find it difficult to build social relationships. Moving abroad often means leaving behind a familiar support network, which can make some students feel isolated. In particular, younger students may struggle to adjust to the new social dynamics and cultural expectations, potentially affecting their mental well-being and overall enjoyment of the experience. For instance, without family and friends nearby, some students might hesitate to socialize or explore their surroundings, missing out on the full, enriching experience of studying abroad.

In conclusion, both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad are substantial and should be considered carefully. Despite the challenges, many of the difficulties students face are temporary and can be overcome as they adjust to their new environment. On balance, the experience of living and studying abroad offers valuable life lessons and unique opportunities for personal growth that make it a worthwhile endeavor.

313 words

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