Protected: IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay sample 3417 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport.

Why is this the case?

What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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336 words

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

October 31, 2020

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

7.0 they do not impede communication

7.0

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. The response addresses both parts of the question by explaining why people use bicycles less often and suggesting ways to encourage cycling. It provides relevant reasons for the decline in bicycle use, such as people’s busy schedules and the desire for faster transport. Additionally, it discusses solutions, emphasizing the environmental and health benefits of cycling.

Although the points made are relevant, they lack depth. For example, the reason why people don’t cycle due to time constraints is mentioned twice but could be supported with specific examples or insights, such as congestion issues, lack of infrastructure, or safety concerns. Similarly, the suggestion to "raise awareness" could be elaborated with concrete ideas, such as public campaigns, incentives, or improved cycling infrastructure. The conclusion could also be stronger, summarizing the main ideas more effectively.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In recent years, people have been less likely to use bicycles for commuting, favoring other forms of transport such as private cars, subways, or trains. This shift can be attributed to a societal emphasis on speed and efficiency, as many people today are often in a rush to reach their destinations. To encourage more people to use bicycles, it is essential to raise awareness about the numerous benefits of cycling and implement supportive infrastructure.

One reason for the decline in bicycle usage is that bicycles are often seen as leisure equipment rather than practical transportation. People may prefer to use bicycles for occasional recreational activities, such as cycling in the park, rather than as a primary way to get around. Additionally, in large cities, where workers are often pressed for time, reaching a destination quickly is a priority. Bicycles, being slower and more physically demanding, are less appealing compared to cars, buses, and trains, which offer faster and more convenient travel.

To address this issue, there are several steps that can be taken to encourage cycling. First, raising awareness about the environmental and health benefits of cycling can be impactful. For example, using a bicycle instead of a car reduces greenhouse gas emissions, which helps combat air pollution and climate change. Additionally, cycling provides an opportunity for daily physical exercise, which can help people relax and improve their mental and physical health.

Furthermore, cities could invest in more cycling-friendly infrastructure, such as dedicated bike lanes, secure parking areas, and bike-sharing programs. These measures would make cycling safer and more convenient, which could encourage more people to consider it a viable commuting option. Some cities, like Amsterdam and Copenhagen, have successfully implemented these initiatives, resulting in a high percentage of bicycle commuters.

In conclusion, although cycling has declined as a common commuting habit due to time pressures and perceptions of convenience, it is possible to reverse this trend. By promoting the benefits of cycling and improving infrastructure, we can make bicycles a more attractive and practical choice for daily transportation, contributing to a healthier environment and lifestyle.

348 words

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