IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3401 – Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

More and more people nowadays visit welI-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place.
Why do you think this is happening?
Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

In recent years, the rise of social media and smartphone technology has significantly shifted how people experience travel. More and more tourists now visit famous landmarks not to immerse themselves in the history or culture but rather to take photographs of themselves at these sites. The rise of social media has, to a large extent, contributed to this phenomenon, which, in my view, is a detriment to our modern culture.

One primary reason for this behavior is the desire for social media validation. In a world where platforms like Instagram and Facebook are ubiquitous, people often need to share their experiences online. The more impressive the location, the more likely they are to receive likes and comments, which can boost their self-esteem. Additionally, the rise of the “influencer” culture has made it fashionable to showcase a glamorous lifestyle, often characterized by frequent travel to exotic locations. For many, the photograph becomes more important than the experience of visiting the place, as it serves as a form of social currency.

While this trend may seem harmless on the surface, it has several negative implications. Firstly, it diminishes the cultural and educational value of travel. When tourists prioritize photography over genuine engagement, they miss out on the opportunity to learn about the history, architecture, and significance of the places they visit. This superficial approach can lead to a lack of appreciation for different cultures and contribute to the commodification of travel experiences. Furthermore, the constant pursuit of the perfect photo can create congestion at popular sites, making it difficult for others to enjoy the location. This not only detracts from the overall experience but can also cause significant damage to the sites themselves due to overcrowding, a problem that needs urgent attention.

In conclusion, the trend of visiting famous places solely for the purpose of taking photographs is driven by the desire for social media validation. However, this behavior is largely negative as it undermines the true value of travel and can have detrimental effects on cultural sites. While photography is an important part of modern travel, it should not replace the meaningful experiences and learning that come from truly engaging with the world around us. It’s crucial to strike a balance between capturing moments and living them to ensure a fulfilling travel experience.

382 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

August 8, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’
9.0 the communication is completely natural
8.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’
9.0 communication is completely natural
7.0
7.5

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. The essay is well-structured and addresses the task effectively, with a clear position and relevant arguments. However, the analysis could be more in-depth, and a wider range of ideas and examples would strengthen the response. There is a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, but there is still room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication.

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The IELTS Assessor

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British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

Another Above 7.0 Sample

In recent years, the proliferation of social media and the advancement of smartphone technology have fundamentally altered the way people experience travel. Increasingly, tourists visit famous landmarks not to immerse themselves in the history or culture of these places but rather to take photographs of themselves at these sites. This shift, largely driven by the influence of social media, represents a worrying trend that I believe is detrimental to our cultural and societal values.
One of the primary reasons for this behavior is the desire for social media validation. In today’s world, platforms like Instagram and Facebook have become integral to how people communicate and perceive each other. The need to share experiences online has led many to prioritize capturing impressive images over the authentic experience of visiting a location. The more iconic the site, the more likely individuals are to receive likes, comments, and followers, which can bolster their social standing and self-esteem. Moreover, the rise of ‘influencer’ culture has exacerbated this trend, as individuals seek to curate a glamorous lifestyle, often characterized by frequent travel to picturesque destinations. For many, the photograph has become more important than the experience itself, serving as a form of social currency that overshadows the true purpose of travel.
While this trend might appear harmless, it carries several negative implications. Firstly, it diminishes the cultural and educational value of travel. When tourists prioritize photography over meaningful engagement, they miss out on the opportunity to learn about the history, architecture, and cultural significance of the places they visit. This superficial approach not only leads to a lack of appreciation for diverse cultures but also contributes to the commodification of travel experiences, where the journey is reduced to a series of photo opportunities. Furthermore, the relentless pursuit of the perfect shot can lead to overcrowding at popular sites, detracting from the overall experience for all visitors and causing potential harm to the sites themselves due to increased foot traffic and environmental stress. This problem is particularly pressing at heritage sites, where the impact of tourism needs to be carefully managed to preserve them for future generations.
In conclusion, the growing trend of visiting famous places solely to take photographs, driven by the quest for social media validation, is a largely negative development. It undermines the intrinsic value of travel, which lies in the personal enrichment and cultural understanding that come from engaging deeply with the world around us. While photography has its place in modern travel, it should not replace the meaningful experiences and learning that are essential to truly appreciating the diversity and beauty of our world. It is crucial to strike a balance between capturing moments and living them fully, ensuring that travel remains a fulfilling and enriching experience.
458 words

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