IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3398 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same.
Why do some people want things to stay the same?
Why should change be regarded as something positive?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Change is a constant aspect of life. Although its inevitability, some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay the same. This essay talks about this topic.

This is often because change can be seen as frightening and scary. People may feel more comfortable with familiar routines and environments, as it provides a feeling of security and stability. For exampel, older generations often resists technological advancements because they know to doing things in a certain way and do not want to learn new methods. Additionally, change can require a lot of effort and adaptation, which many people find overwhelming. For instance, transitioning from traditional methods to dijital platforms involves learning new skills and goodbye to long-held habits, which can be particularly challenging for those not techy.

Another reason why some individuals prefer stability over change is due to the uncertainty that comes with new situations. When things change, it can be difficult to see the outcomes, which can leads to stress. For instance, employees might resist new management in a company because they fear it might lead to job loss or increased workload. Stability offers predictability and control over your life, making it more appealing to those who love risks. Moreover, cultural and societal norms play a role in this; people are often taught to value consistency and reliability over the unknown.

In conclusion, change should be reguarded as something positive because it often leads to improvement and growth.

247 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

July 25, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
5.0 addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
5.0 attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
5.0 makes frequent grammatical errors, and punctuation may be faulty
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay.
The introduction is brief and lacks clarity. It should provide a clear thesis statement. The essay covers key points but lacks depth and detailed examples.
First Paragraph:
"This is often because change can be seen as frightening and scary." - Redundant. Choose one adjective.
"People may feel more comfortable with familiar routines and environments, as it provides a feeling of security and stability." - Good point.
"For exampel, older generations often resists technological advancements because they know to doing things in a certain way and do not want to learn new methods." - Needs correction.

"Another reason why some individuals prefer stability over change is due to the uncertainty that comes with new situations." - Good point.
"When things change, it can be difficult to see the outcomes, which can leads to stress." - Needs correction.
"Stability offers predictability and control over your life, making it more appealing to those who love risks." - Contradictory; should be "those who avoid risks."

The conclusion is too brief and does not effectively summarize the essay's main points.

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

Change is a constant aspect of life. Despite its inevitability, some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay the same.
This is often because change can be seen as frightening and disruptive. People may feel more comfortable with familiar routines and environments, as it provides a sense of security and stability. For example, older generations often resists technological advancements because they are accustomed to doing things in a certain way and do not want to learn new methods. Additionally, change can require significant effort and adaptation, which many people find overwhelming. For instance, transitioning from traditional methods to digital platforms involves learning new skills and abandoning long-held habits, which can be particularly challenging for those not tech-savvy.
While the fear of change is understandable, it is important to recognize that the negative impacts are often exaggerated. Many concerns about change are based on fear of the unknown rather than actual harm. For instance, while employees might worry about job loss due to new management, these changes can also bring opportunities for career growth and development. Similarly, societal changes, such as the adoption of new technologies, often lead to increased efficiency and improved quality of life. Thus, the perceived negatives are usually temporary and can be managed with proper support and education.
However, change should be regarded as something positive because it often leads to improvement and growth. Embracing change can foster innovation and progress, driving societies forward. For example, the Industrial Revolution, despite its initial challenges, ultimately led to unprecedented economic growth and improved living standards. On a personal level, adapting to change can enhance one's skills and resilience, preparing individuals for future challenges. Moreover, change encourages diversity and inclusivity, allowing different ideas and perspectives to flourish.
In conclusion, while some people may prefer stability and fear change, it is essential to focus on its potential benefits. Change, despite its challenges, brings about positive developments and opportunities for growth both on a societal and personal level.
338 words

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