IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3385 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.
Why is this the case?
What can be done about this problem?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

A lot of individuals around the globe are still suffering from famine despite innovations in the field of agriculture. I believe this is the case because of the widespread presence of corrupt government officials, and only when countries dispose of them will hunger truly end.

With corruption rooted so deeply in many governments, most countries do not have the purchasing power to acquire new farming equipment. Furthermore, when countries cannot accommodate their growing populations due to the lack of methods of growing crops, most of their subjects will succumb to hunger. This is especially true in nations riddled with fraudsters and embezzlers; when officials steal taxpayers’ money, they cripple the economy of their nations, further exacerbating the problem and leading their citizens to their certain demise. Let us take Kenya, for instance; they are facing one of the worst food scarcity problems in the recent era because the corrupt officials decided to embezzle money instead of buying weather-resistant farming machines to accommodate to global warming. If they continue to steal money from the already struggling government, they will cripple the purchasing power of their citizens even more.

The one and only solution to this issue is to simply dispose of corrupt individuals in positions of power. Rulers of different nations and kingdoms can simply lock up embezzlers and replace them with trustworthy figures. By doing so, they ensure that funds are distributed equitably towards various purposes, particularly the subsidies allocated to improving the agricultural sector. This will alleviate some of the financial burden on their subjects, allowing citizens of all classes to be able to buy basic food items, such as rice and flour, which can help eradicate famine. Let us take Jordan, for example; they entered a period of famine in the last decade and were not able to exit it until the king decided to imprison all the corrupt ministers; only after that did Jordanians really experience satiety.

In conclusion, famine is one of the world’s most important issues, despite all the technological advancements made in the field of agriculture. The rotting problem of corruption and embezzlement is found in various nations around the world, and I believe that no country will be able to truly tackle the problem of hunger until they address this issue promptly.

377 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

September 29, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
7.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
8.0 produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
9.0 communication is completely natural
8.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. It addresses the prompt well, but the arguments could be more balanced. While corruption is a strong point, it is advisable to briefly mention other potential causes of hunger, such as poverty, climate change, or distribution issues. This will make your response more comprehensive. Additionally, your solution is focused entirely on corruption, which is valid but could be expanded with more nuanced suggestions.

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Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

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British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

Despite significant advancements in agriculture, a large number of people worldwide continue to face hunger. In my view, this is primarily due to corruption within governments, but there are also other contributing factors such as poverty and ineffective food distribution systems. Tackling both corruption and these underlying issues will be key to resolving global hunger.
One major reason for persistent famine is the deep-rooted corruption in many countries, which prevents efficient allocation of resources. In many cases, corrupt officials prioritize their own gain over the needs of the population, diverting funds that could otherwise be used to improve agricultural infrastructure. For example, in Kenya, government embezzlement has hindered investment in modern, weather-resistant farming technologies that could mitigate the effects of climate change. As a result, crop yields have suffered, leaving millions vulnerable to hunger. This cycle of corruption and mismanagement cripples the economy and limits a nation's ability to provide for its people, perpetuating the issue of food insecurity.
Apart from corruption, poverty and inadequate food distribution systems are also major causes of hunger. In many developing countries, even when food is available, a significant portion of the population lacks the financial means to purchase it. This disparity between food availability and access is exacerbated by inefficient distribution networks that fail to deliver food to remote or underserved areas. These challenges compound the problem of hunger, as those in need are unable to access the very resources that could save them.
To address this issue, the first and most important step is to combat corruption. Governments need to implement strict anti-corruption measures, ensuring that funds intended for agricultural development are used appropriately. This can be achieved by replacing corrupt officials with trustworthy individuals and establishing transparent systems for monitoring resource allocation. For example, in Jordan, hunger issues were significantly alleviated after corrupt officials were removed from power, allowing the government to focus on funding essential agricultural projects. By eliminating corruption, governments can ensure that resources are used to their fullest potential, enabling the development of sustainable farming systems and, ultimately, reducing hunger.
In addition, international organizations and governments should work together to improve food distribution networks and provide financial assistance to the most vulnerable populations. By improving infrastructure and ensuring fair distribution of food supplies, nations can reduce the impact of poverty and food shortages on their populations. In combination with anti-corruption efforts, this approach offers a more comprehensive solution to the global hunger crisis.
In conclusion, while corruption plays a significant role in the persistence of global hunger, it is not the only factor. Poverty, inefficient food distribution, and economic disparities also contribute to the issue. Therefore, addressing corruption and these additional factors in tandem is crucial for a lasting solution to the problem of hunger worldwide.
453 words

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