IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3381 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Science and Research, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

One of the important goals of science is to improve people’s lives. Science has a great impact on the advancement of technology and health. I agree that science is concerned with making people’s lives better.

Science has led to the advancement of technology and the construction of many practical devices. Making some machines such as dishwashers and washing machines has made life better. For example, in the past, washing clothes was difficult because it had to be done by hand, and usually women who washed clothes felt pain in their hand and their health was endangered. The making of machines made many tasks to be done easily and without problems and people could take care of their other tasks.

Solving people’s health problems became easier with the advancement of science. In the past, there were many health problems and many people lost their lives due to these issues. For example, 100 years ago, when it was time for women to give birth, because there were no facilities, they usually died during childbirth, or because of the lack of vaccines, newborn children might not survive and due to disease after a while, but now due to good medical facilities and conditions, this does not happen.

In general, the progress of science has had a great impact on people’s lives. Science has made life simpler and by influencing medical science it also affects health. Regarding the effects of science, I agree that the most important goal of science is to make life better.

250 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

July 1, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

6.0 addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately

7.0

Lexical Resource

6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task

8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free

8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies

7.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. The essay effectively addresses the task and maintains a clear position, but it lacks depth in development and sophistication in language use. The coherence is generally good, but cohesion can be repetitive. The limited range of grammatical structures and vocabulary also requires careful attention.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

One of the paramount goals of science should indeed be to enhance people's lives. The impact of scientific progress on technology and healthcare is profound, leading to significant improvements in the quality of life. I strongly agree that science's primary concern should be the betterment of human existence.

Firstly, science has driven technological advancements, resulting in the creation of many practical devices that have simplified daily tasks. The invention of machines such as dishwashers and washing machines has greatly improved domestic life. For instance, in the past, washing clothes was a labor-intensive task done by hand, often causing physical pain and health issues, particularly for women. The introduction of these machines has not only made such chores easier and less time-consuming but also allowed people to focus on other important activities.

Furthermore, scientific advancements have revolutionized healthcare, making it easier to address health problems and save lives. Historically, many health issues were insurmountable, leading to high mortality rates. For example, a century ago, childbirth was a perilous event due to the lack of medical facilities, often resulting in the death of the mother and child. The absence of vaccines also meant that many children succumbed to diseases shortly after birth. Today, thanks to scientific progress, we have access to advanced medical facilities and vaccinations, significantly reducing such risks and enhancing overall health outcomes.

In summary, the progress of science has had a remarkable impact on improving people's lives. By driving technological innovations and advancing medical science, it has simplified daily tasks and enhanced health and well-being. Therefore, I firmly believe that the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

280 words

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