Protected: IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3375 – Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Health and Well-being, Science and Research, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

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355 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

September 11, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.5 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task

8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question

8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas

8.0

Coherence and Cohesion

9.0 sequences information and ideas logically

8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well

9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

9.0 skillfully manages paragraphing

8.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

9.0 the communication is completely natural

7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

9.0 with full flexibility and accuracy

8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies

7.0 they do not impede communication

7.0

7.5

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. To improve your essay and achieve a higher IELTS band score, you should expand on your ideas and examples, providing more detailed reasoning and considering potential counterarguments. Enhance cohesion by using more linking words within paragraphs for smoother transitions, and refine your vocabulary to avoid awkward or repetitive word choices. Additionally, simplify overly complex sentences to improve readability, and ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main points while your conclusion effectively summarizes them. By focusing on these areas, you can strengthen your overall writing quality.

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Another Above 7.0 Sample

The primary goal of scientific advancements should be to enhance the quality of life for individuals. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement, as improvements in the health sector and technology over the past few decades have significantly made life easier for people around the world.

Advancements in healthcare have been crucial in helping people manage diseases that once were considered fatal. Illnesses such as diabetes mellitus and hypertension, which used to cause significant morbidity and mortality, are now effectively managed with modern medical technology. For instance, insulin, the life-saving drug for diabetes mellitus type 1, was discovered about a century ago. The scientists who discovered it chose to release the manufacturing process free of charge, allowing pharmaceutical companies to mass-produce it. This decision has enabled countless individuals to lead fulfilling lives despite their diagnosis.

Similarly, technological progress has dramatically improved daily living. The rapid evolution of technology has made life more comfortable and convenient for people across the globe. Many developers and tech companies offer affordable products that enhance the quality of life. For example, AI integration into household items is becoming increasingly common. Devices like Alexa, developed by Amazon, allow users to control various smart home features such as lighting and curtains, making everyday tasks more manageable. These innovations are accessible to a broad audience due to their affordability.

In conclusion, scientific advancements should prioritize improving people's lives. Developments in healthcare have reduced the impact of diseases on individuals' quality of life, while technological progress, particularly in artificial intelligence, has made daily tasks easier and more efficient. Therefore, the primary aim of science should indeed be to enhance human well-being.

277 words