IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3373 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Education, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Some students think that they should do activities that are not related to the university course, but the second group think that they should only study and study about the university course. Considering that people’s success may be in a field other than the academic field, and people’s interest in some cases is not considered for choosing an academic field, it is better to do non-curricular studies as well; I agree with the first group.

According to the opinion of the first group, it is better to have other studies besides university courses. Nowadays, due to the increase in the population, all the people who enter a field may not be able to work in a job related to that field. All psychology students may not be able to become successful psychologists, but they may become successful makeup artists if they try in the field of makeup. In some cases, the field that a person chooses is not because of his interest in that field. Some people may enter the academic field due to the pressure of their families and people’s thinking regarding some jobs that they are not interested in, for example, a student who enters the medical field due to the insistence of his parents who are doctors, but has no interest in it. does not have . Along with his education, he tries to have studies related to his favorite field, which is writing, and attend courses related to it; After he succeeds in writing, he can show his family that he does not need to become a doctor to be successful.

According to the opinion of the second group, one should only focus on university courses while studying at the university. According to them, by focusing on lessons and classes, you can have a better career and be more successful. The best grade is not always enough for success; for example, a student who always has the best grades in the field of architecture and presents very good projects in classes may not have a successful career because he cannot communicate well with others.

According to the explanations, people’s success may be in a field other than the academic field. In some cases, people’s interest is not considered for choosing a field and sometimes it is at the insistence of the family. For some people, it is better to have extracurricular studies for a better job in the future.

423 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

June 25, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
Addresses all parts of the task but with some ideas not fully extended or developed.
Presents a position but with some inconsistencies and lack of clarity in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
Arranges information and ideas coherently but with some lapses in logical progression.
Uses cohesive devices but with occasional overuse or underuse.
Some paragraphs are not clearly connected, impacting the overall flow.

Lexical Resource (LR):
Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task.
Attempts to use less common lexical items but with some inaccuracies.
Errors in word choice and collocation occasionally impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but with frequent errors.
Grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement and punctuation, sometimes hinder communication.
Limited range of complex structures.

Overall:
The essay addresses the prompt and presents both views, but the ideas are not fully developed or clearly linked. The response shows an understanding of the topic but lacks depth and clarity in some areas. There are noticeable grammatical errors and issues with sentence structure, which impact the overall coherence and accuracy of the essay. Improved organization and a clearer conclusion would enhance the essay's quality.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

Some students believe that they should explore subjects outside their main field of study, while others think it is essential to focus solely on their primary course to achieve academic success. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion.

On the one hand, diversifying one’s education by studying additional subjects can be highly beneficial. In today’s competitive job market, having knowledge in multiple areas can make an individual more versatile and employable. For instance, a psychology student who also studies business can open up more career opportunities, such as roles in human resources or organizational development. Moreover, engaging in diverse studies can help students discover their true interests and passions, which might not align with their initial choice of major. Many students choose their field of study due to parental pressure or societal expectations, not necessarily their own interests. By exploring other subjects, they might find a field they are genuinely passionate about and excel in.

On the other hand, there is a strong argument for dedicating all one’s time and attention to the primary field of study. Focusing intensely on one subject allows students to develop a deep understanding and expertise, which is crucial for academic and professional success. For example, medical students need to devote extensive time to their studies to master the knowledge and skills required to become competent doctors. Distractions from other subjects could hinder their progress and potentially affect their future careers. Additionally, achieving high grades and a strong academic record in one’s main subject can be critical for securing scholarships, internships, and job placements.

In my opinion, while it is essential to focus on one’s main field of study, incorporating additional subjects can provide a well-rounded education and broader skill set. The key is to find a balance that does not compromise the depth of learning in the primary subject. Universities could offer flexible curriculums that allow students to explore other areas without overwhelming them. This approach would enable students to gain a comprehensive education while still achieving excellence in their main field.

In conclusion, both approaches have their merits. While focusing solely on one’s main subject ensures a deep understanding and expertise, studying additional subjects can broaden a student’s horizons and provide valuable skills. A balanced approach that integrates both perspectives can lead to a more enriching educational experience.

394 words

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