IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3370 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Policies and Government, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Today, in many countries, people are migrating from villages to cities, which has decreased the population of villages. More facilities and a better life have caused people to migrate. In my opinion, migrating people from villages to cities does not have good consequences.

Humans are always looking for a better life and migrate to have it. Facilities in cities are much more numerous than in villages; for example, access to doctors and hospitals is much more common in bigger cities, and there are usually better doctors in cities. In cities, there are facilities such as electricity, gas, and water, which may not be available in some villages. In a remote village, many diseases occur due to the lack of clean water, and as a result, due to the lack of skilled doctors and adequate medical facilities, people may not survive. The facilities in the cities make life better than in the countryside.

The increase in the population of cities is not always good and causes problems. Problems such as adding to air pollution and increasing the number of homeless people can be due to the increase in population. For example, in a city with a capacity of two million people, with the increase in population, the use of cars increases, which causes traffic. Traffic causes air pollution and endangers people’s health. The next thing is the increase in the number of homeless. In some cases, due to the costs of big cities, people are not able to buy a house and meet their needs, which causes them to lose everything and become homeless.

According to the explanations, migration has various reasons, such as better facilities and a better life, but migration is not always useful and has consequences, such as traffic, air pollution, and loss of normal life. Considering these cases, I do not agree with the migration of people from villages to cities.

313 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

June 19, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

6.0 addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others

6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
Addresses all parts of the task with a clear position throughout the response.
Presents a relevant position although the conclusion could be clearer.
Includes relevant and extended ideas, but some points lack depth in development and support.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
Arranges information and ideas coherently but with some lapses in clarity.
Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, although there may be some underuse or overuse of some connectors.
Ideas are generally logically organized, but some paragraphs could be more clearly linked.

Lexical Resource (LR):
Uses an adequate range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation, though with occasional inaccuracies.
Makes some errors in word choice and usage, but they do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
Makes some grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement and article usage, but these do not significantly reduce communication.
Punctuation and spelling are mostly accurate but with some errors.

Overall:
The essay addresses the prompt well, presenting a clear stance on the topic. The candidate demonstrates a good understanding of the issue and supports their arguments with relevant examples. However, there are areas for improvement in the depth of ideas, the logical flow of information, and grammatical accuracy. The essay could benefit from more cohesive transitions between paragraphs and further development of some points to enhance clarity and impact.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In many countries, rural-to-urban migration has become increasingly common, leading to a significant decrease in the rural population. While this trend can bring certain benefits, I believe that the negative consequences outweigh the positives.

One of the main reasons people migrate to cities is the pursuit of better living standards. Urban areas typically offer more employment opportunities, superior healthcare, and greater access to education. For instance, cities often have a higher concentration of hospitals and specialized doctors, ensuring better medical care. Additionally, urban infrastructure, such as reliable electricity, clean water, and modern sanitation, significantly improves the quality of life compared to many rural areas. These amenities undoubtedly attract individuals seeking a more comfortable and convenient lifestyle.

However, the influx of people into cities also brings about several challenges. The rapid increase in urban population can lead to overcrowding, straining public services and infrastructure. For example, many cities struggle with traffic congestion, which not only causes frustration but also contributes to severe air pollution. This pollution can have detrimental effects on public health, increasing the prevalence of respiratory illnesses and other health issues. Moreover, the higher cost of living in urban areas can lead to increased homelessness and poverty, as not all migrants can secure well-paying jobs or affordable housing.

Furthermore, the depopulation of rural areas can have adverse effects on agricultural production and the local economy. With fewer people to work the land, agricultural output may decline, potentially leading to food shortages and higher prices. Additionally, the social fabric of rural communities can weaken as people leave, resulting in a loss of cultural heritage and community support networks.

In conclusion, while urban migration can offer better facilities and opportunities, it also creates significant problems such as overcrowding, pollution, and socioeconomic disparities. Additionally, the negative impact on rural areas cannot be overlooked. Therefore, I believe that the current trend of rural-to-urban migration is more detrimental than beneficial, and measures should be taken to address both urban and rural development needs.

324 words

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