IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3355 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Economy and Business, Health and Well-being, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

In the modern era, some people believe that healthcare providers and engineers should be obligated to work in the country where their training takes place. Contrastingly, other individuals think that they should have the freedom of choice when it comes to where they want to continue their careers. I am of the opinion that people should have the right to choose the nation where they want to spend their lives working.

A lot of people may argue that professionals should give back to the country where they did their diplomas, mainly because of how much the government has spent on their educations, especially professions like medicine and engineering. Although this is a valid viewpoint, it is an overgeneralization of reality; more than 80 percent of students who have graduated from universities are in debt, and the money spent on them has to be paid back in full with interest. Let’s take the US, for example, the vast majority of postgraduate medical professionals have debts amounting to around 300k to 500k dollars; furthermore, engineers have slightly lower values at approximately 200-300k dollars.

Granted, numerous countries have implemented a free education system for their citizens, trapping workers in a country they long to leave is not the brightest idea, mainly because of the enormous pay gap between inhabitants of developing and developed countries. For instance, the average wage for a family medicine doctor in the US is around 250 thousand US dollars, while the median wage for the same position in Jordan only amounts to approximately 12 thousand US dollars. Engineers make even less than that when compared to their US counterparts at around 10k and 300k US dollars, respectively.

In conclusion, it is a common belief that people with higher education should repay the country they finished their education in, it should not be an obligation. Freedom is something that is invaluable particularly when it comes to the professional lives of individuals.

321 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

September 1, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

5.0 addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places

6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

5.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well

9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately

7.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

9.0 with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features

9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’

9.0 the communication is completely natural

7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

9.0 uses a wide range of structures

9.0 with full flexibility and accuracy

8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies

9.0 communication is completely natural

8.0

6.5

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this essay. Task Response (TR): The essay addresses the task in an opinion format; the two other points of view remain addressed only minimally. Although the writer's own idea is presented, it could benefit from more balanced coverage of both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences are overly long and could be clearer. Topic sentences in paragraphs could benefit from shorter sentences.
Lexical Resource (LR): The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some less common words. However, there are minor errors, and some word choices could be improved for clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The essay shows a varied range of simple and complex sentence structures. There are a few punctuation errors, but they don't impede understanding.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In today's globalized world, the debate over whether professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be obligated to work in their training country or have the freedom to work abroad is increasingly pertinent. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue for the right of individuals to choose their workplace.

Some argue that professionals should serve in the country where they received their education, especially in fields like healthcare and engineering. This perspective is grounded in the belief that these individuals owe a debt to their homeland, which has invested in their training. For instance, in countries with publicly funded education systems, it is expected that graduates contribute back to the economy and help address local shortages in their fields.

On the other hand, others advocate for the freedom of professionals to work wherever they choose. This viewpoint emphasizes individual rights and the benefits of global mobility, such as the exchange of knowledge and skills across borders. Moreover, professionals often seek opportunities abroad for better compensation, working conditions, and career advancement, which can be limited in their home countries.

I am of the opinion that people should have the right to choose the nation where they want to spend their lives working. While it is important to acknowledge the investment made by one's home country, restricting professionals' mobility could lead to dissatisfaction and hinder global progress. Furthermore, individuals should have the autonomy to pursue opportunities that align with their personal and professional goals.

In conclusion, while the argument for professionals to work in their training country has merit, the freedom to choose one's workplace is a fundamental right. Encouraging global mobility can lead to a more interconnected and prosperous world, where individuals are empowered to make decisions that best suit their aspirations.

292 words