IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3348 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.
What is your opinion on this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

these days, the only location for construction is the countryside. Some individuals suppose that it is significant to preserve the countryside, than building new homes in that area. I hold this view and outline my reasons in this essay.

To begin with, the countryside is a place for relaxation on which should be preserved. These days people would have to work for long hours so as to afford their expenses. After having worked for long hours for all of the week, people are exhausted, and need a location to be relaxed. Therefor, the best place for it is the countryside which provides them with open and fresh air, which could mitigate people’s tension. Thus, there isn’t any substitute for the countryside if it be replaced by new buildings.

In addition, the countryside should be available as it reduces the air pollution. As the cities are gradually becoming more built-up than it used to be, have been more polluted than the past. Such pollution could be reduced by the fresh air which is produced in the countryside. As a result, if the construction for new homes begins in that area, the density of air pollution will be increased. It can be disaster which is not compensated by anything. The resulted situation won’t be reversible.

Moreover, the countryside plays a pivotal role in citizen’s healthiness. As this location in cities reduces the air pollution it can avoid people to get involved in healthy problems such as lung cancers which are very common in the polluted cities. If the countryside be impaired be fellow citizens, the resulted expenses because of respiratory gases would be astronomical.

This situation would be a tragedy which has happened for many cities like Delhi in India.

In conclusion, I hope this view that countryside should be rest and virgin because it is a place for relaxation, and produces fresh air. As well as it reduces disease pertaining to breathing.

321 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

November 5, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The essay takes advantage of a variety of grammatical and lexical points; in the majority of cases, the command over the language is admirable; there are rare, isolated errors which contribute to the lower-than-expected score. In short, the writer has a high command over the English language, but the essay suffers from serious errors that appear throughout the paragraphs. To improve the scores, it is best to always proofread the text; it is more effective to start proofreading from the last paragraph and work our way up to the introduction.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The debate over whether to build new homes in the countryside, where space is often available but finite, or to prioritize countryside preservation is a critical issue in urban planning. In my opinion, while urban expansion is necessary to accommodate growing populations, it must be done with strict adherence to sustainable development principles and a balanced approach that preserves the natural beauty of the countryside.
Firstly, it is undeniable that the demand for new homes is escalating, especially in densely populated areas. People need adequate housing, and building in the countryside can offer a viable solution to address this pressing need. However, unchecked urban sprawl can have detrimental effects on the environment, wildlife habitats, and the aesthetic appeal of rural landscapes.
To strike a balance, it is crucial to implement responsible land use policies and prioritize environmental protection. This can be achieved through thoughtful urban planning that designates specific areas for development while safeguarding natural landscapes through zoning regulations and greenbelts. Additionally, incorporating eco-friendly building practices and encouraging sustainable transportation options can minimize the ecological footprint of new developments.
Moreover, preserving the countryside has significant cultural and recreational value. It provides opportunities for people to connect with nature, enjoy outdoor activities, and escape the hustle and bustle of urban life. These benefits contribute to the overall well-being and quality of life for both urban and rural residents.
In conclusion, the need for new homes should not come at the expense of the countryside. It is essential to strike a balance between urban development and countryside preservation by implementing sustainable and responsible planning practices. This approach ensures that future generations can enjoy the benefits of both adequate housing and the natural beauty of the countryside.
251 words

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