IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3344 – Band 5.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Recently, some people demonstrate that professionals, such as doctors and engineers must work in their own country to serve to the people by their specific techniques, while others criticized they should be free of choice whether to work in their own country or go abroad. This essay aim is to examine both of these views at length with logical conclusion.

First and foremost, there are vacancies and opportunities for both professions in their own country to develop their career in order to provide extraordinary services for people as well as wealthy programs. For instance, engineers by supplying and building the houses they can diminish the rate of the buildings and lands which are demolishing by utilize the several methods such as replacement, reconstruction or even refurbishment. Moreover, they can import various facilities like, tools and machines which can help them to increase the progression of construction by exertion of these facilities. Consequently, the number of properties which are vacant by an appropriate legislation of law from government would certainly decline. On the other hand, doctors would help patients in different department such as hospitals, clinics and health care organizations by prescribing category of medicines which they required and advising to the patients according to their specific disorder weather mental or physical which they are suffer. However, being in environmental situation of work as a doctor would be certainly hard but helping to the patients and discussion with the colleagues might help to get rid of this situation as fast as possible. Ironically, situational factors of the place where people trained would be crucial into the future placement and job, despite many employees and assistants in clinics and hospitals still government need people with professional skill and knowledge due to the feedback of the patients.

Nevertheless, other people argue with this circumstance, and they think this might bring a lot of threats for the country and government to replace inexperienced persons instead of professionals if they migrate to another country. However, sometimes people are getting quite confuse to stay or go abroad. There are various reasons for those groups of doctors and engineers to go other country first, they don’t want to be supervise by other people secondly, some of them try to achieve a goal which they wouldn’t be able to take in their own country and thirdly, professionals desire to spend more time and consume enormous energy to find a place where they can have peace from all sides whether in terms of income and mentality and beside they would like to be more productive which of it’s vital importance.

In conclusion, professionals must flow based on the situational factors and environment in order to achieve what they need and think logically with regard to their own native and other country and perhaps search more as well as make comparison to find the clue reasons and keys. I personally, agree with this opinion that they must be free to work wherever they want and expand their cognizant and skill owing to the success.

504 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 27, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 5.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
6.0 addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
5.0 presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
5.0 makes frequent grammatical errors, and punctuation may be faulty
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The rubric clearly asks us to discuss why some people think professionals must stay in their home country while others say they should be free to decide on their own; the essay mostly focuses on why the elite leave or stay in the country. A recommended structure would be to write each paragraph from the advocates of that view, not from the writer’s perspective.

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The 5.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The debate surrounding whether professionals, like doctors and engineers, should be obliged to practice in the country of their training or have the freedom to work abroad is a contentious issue. This essay will explore both perspectives and provide my own viewpoint.
On one hand, proponents of the mandatory practice in the home country argue that individuals who have undergone training there owe a debt to their society. By ensuring that professionals contribute their skills domestically, countries can address local healthcare or infrastructure needs effectively. This approach could also prevent a "brain drain" phenomenon, where a nation's best talents seek opportunities abroad, potentially undermining the nation's progress.
On the other hand, those advocating for the freedom to work abroad emphasize the importance of personal autonomy and a globalized workforce. Allowing professionals to explore opportunities in other countries can facilitate the exchange of knowledge and expertise, which may contribute to global advancements in various fields. Furthermore, international exposure can broaden professionals' perspectives, enabling them to bring innovative ideas back to their home country.
In my opinion, a balanced approach is essential. While it is crucial to retain skilled professionals to meet local demands, enforcing mandatory practice can be restrictive and hinder individual growth. Instead, governments should consider incentivizing professionals to remain by offering competitive working conditions and opportunities for career advancement. Simultaneously, professionals should have the choice to work abroad, as long as they adhere to ethical and regulatory standards in both their home and host countries.
In conclusion, the debate over requiring professionals like doctors and engineers to work in their training country versus allowing them the freedom to work abroad is complex. While obligatory practice can address local needs, it could limit individual aspirations. A more pragmatic approach involves providing incentives to encourage domestic practice and granting professionals the freedom to contribute to global advancements while upholding ethical standards.
298 words

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