IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3340 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

In the past people often had the limitation in choices due to the lack of facilities and technologies. However, there were lots of wealthy people to live conveniently based on their desire. This essay will examine with regard to the many choices at length with logical conclusion.

Firstly, choices depend on our request from the life and the environment around us to choose an efficient option and requirement for ourselves which perhaps can affect our entire life. Choices would bring many benefits into our lives for instance, having a choice to find a job or being unemployed or else, prefer sedentary lifestyle instead is in our hand. Furthermore, choices have been expanded over the years earlier we were not able to afford a ticket for a bus to travel in order of high prices, inconvenient transportation as well as quality of services. But nowadays, we have many choices such, as airplane or other mode of transportation which has been organized for passengers to be more comfortable during their journey. Moreover, there are several choices for the shopping such, as clothes, electronic devices and selection of initial needs for their lives.

Secondly, quality of products in groceries have been developed over the last decade until now so, many people are able to choose a wide range of products for their lives which were unreliable earlier and now there is chance to encourage demands by advertising the choices which are available. It is noticeably that most of the people going through the confusion while selecting the products because of various choices and besides, they notified that would be uncontrollable if we select our products unwisely. I entirely agree with the statement and in addition, several options would bring many problems which can cause anxiety and feeling of passionate during shopping and observation. Expansion of choices have a massive impact in our society such, as development of income for employers, flexibility of a job during working time as well as sophistication of culture.

In conclusion, many choices would be beneficial for our society in order to increase and improve proficiency in each field and encourage the public to abstain and remove the deficiency from their life by following an efficient choice through their lives. Of it vital importance to understand the precise implication of choices which can lead you to your own goal.

390 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 28, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
5.0 presents information with some organization
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The writer’s opinion is present, but it is not arranged in an organized way; for instance, the reader never knows shy “groceries” received a paragraph, whereas the first paragraph is about the topic on a much larger scale (life). What’s more, the writer’s own opinion is not placed in a correct position in the essay, i.e. the paragraphing needs great improvement. Although grammatical errors and punctuations remain throughout the essay, it is vocabulary which damages the reader’s comprehension of the writer’s messages; for instance, “culture sophistication” is not stated accurately in the essay, but even so, the context fails to give a proper development why this topic is stated as an example here.

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In today's fast-paced world, the belief that we are inundated with an excessive number of choices has become a topic of contention. Some argue that the profusion of options in various facets of life, from consumer goods to career paths, has reached a point where it impedes rather than enhances our well-being. To a certain extent, I concur with this assertion, as an overabundance of choices can result in decision paralysis and dissatisfaction.
One of the primary drawbacks of having too many choices is the concept of "choice overload." When individuals are confronted with an extensive array of options, they often struggle to make decisions. This can lead to heightened stress and anxiety, as individuals grapple with the fear of making the wrong choice. For instance, the proliferation of online dating apps has provided people with access to an extensive pool of potential partners, yet studies indicate that this has not necessarily translated into happier relationships.
Additionally, an excess of choices can breed discontent. When people have elevated expectations due to a plethora of options, they may find it challenging to settle for a choice that does not meet all their criteria. Consequently, they might continuously second-guess their decisions and feel less content with the outcomes.
Nevertheless, it is crucial to strike a balance. A reasonable number of choices can empower individuals and enable personalization. It is the responsibility of individuals and society to develop effective strategies for navigating the abundance of choices, such as setting clear priorities and being mindful of their needs and desires.
In conclusion, while having too many choices can indeed be overwhelming and counterproductive, it is not the sheer quantity of options that is the issue but rather how we manage and approach them. Therefore, we should aim for a middle ground, where choices are diverse but not excessive, allowing us to make informed decisions and find satisfaction in our selections.
250 words

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