IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3336 – Band 5.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many museums charge for admission while others are free.
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, museums are one of the most attractions across the world where people can conveniently explore in order to expand their knowledge with regard to the history, politics and as well as nations. In this essay, I will paraphrase with reference to the admission fees of museums at length with logical conclusion.

In the past many people claim about the charge of the museums as well as impacts of free museums which government can implement for the public to develop the facilities and increase the demands for this attraction place. Moreover, museums would be beneficial for society specifically for those who have the sedentary lifestyle to encourage them to change their habits and visit the museums atleast once a week. It has to be said that free museums can attract more people outside and of course there is a huge benefit for government while people utilizing transportation system while visiting museums and besides, refurbishment of museums and refreshment make impression of spectators and visitors during watching. Furthermore, free museums are popular globally for those who are interested in art exhibitions, painting as well as colorful pottery.

However, government needs to earn income by charging museums in order of staff satisfaction and invest for various purposes which can bring several benefits for them. Therefore, it is essential for some of the museums to charge for entry and perhaps, with the entrance income they might spend for renewing the facilities as well as renovating. It is mainly for this reason that many executive officers putted this regulation in priority in order to notice people that they can follow the rules. Of it vital importance to keep an easy access for the public for the museums attraction whether by charging or free and it is noticeable to provide a transportation for elderly people which is convenient to visit whenever they desire. Understandably several museums despite many expenses for repairing and other stuffs.

In conclusion, i believe museums and governments must try to provide a free entry for public in order to extend their businesses and make their people happier by implementing these entertainments and besides, encourage them to change their habits and develop their cognizant with regard to the painting, art exhibitions. I think demerits of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the merits.

382 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 30, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 5.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
5.0 addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
5.0 presents information with some organization
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The question is to identify “advantages” (plural) and “disadvantages” (plural); however, it is very hard for the reader to distinguish the items for each. This is the reason why Task Response stays at 5.0. Grammar structures used are quite advanced, yet there are incomplete sentences which harm the reader’s understanding of the passage. The same issue applies to vocabulary and coherence and cohesion.

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The 5.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The question of whether museums should charge entrance fees or offer free admission has ignited extensive discussions. While both sides have their merits, it is crucial to assess the benefits and drawbacks to determine whether charging for entry holds more advantages than disadvantages.
Charging admission fees to museums brings forth several advantages. Firstly, the revenue generated aids in maintaining and improving exhibits, facilities, and educational programs. This financial support ensures that museums can preserve their collections and provide enhanced visitor experiences. Secondly, entry fees help regulate the number of visitors, preventing overcrowding that can detract from the overall experience. This leads to a more pleasant visit for those who do attend.
However, the disadvantages of charging for museum entry should not be overlooked. Most notably, entry fees can hinder accessibility, particularly for individuals with limited financial resources. This situation creates a potential barrier to cultural enrichment and education, perpetuating societal disparities. Additionally, the prospect of paying for museum admission might deter some visitors, leading to reduced overall attendance and a missed opportunity to share knowledge and culture with a broader audience.
On the contrary, offering free museum entry promotes inclusivity and democratizes access to knowledge and art. By removing financial barriers, museums can attract a diverse range of visitors, fostering a richer cultural experience for everyone. This approach aligns with the educational and societal roles that museums often aim to fulfill.
In conclusion, the advantages of charging for museum admission, such as financial support and crowd control, are countered by the disadvantages of limited accessibility and potential reduced attendance. The benefits of offering free entry, including inclusivity and wider cultural dissemination, hold greater significance. Striking a balance, wherein museums may charge for certain exhibitions or events but offer regular periods of free access, seems to be a practical solution to maintain sustainability while ensuring that cultural treasures are accessible to all.
254 words

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