IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3328 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

This is more and more online shopping if here on the net which leads sharp to close in the future. I don’t hold this idea because of several reasons which I will Express here.

firstly, this idea is not true Because a majority of people would prefer to touch items at shops before purchasing them. citizens should observe Productions at shops in order to analyze the quality of them by information which are being provided by the seller. although these informations can be seen On the website,  they could be useful for the second order of that item. the second order can be done by the online shop. For example, a survey has shown that the first purchase of any products has been at shops in cities. and the following buying has been happening on the online shop. especially,  the shops which have a website  for online orders. it means that all online shops cannot be success if they don’t have any shops at towns.

in addition, the sale of productions  is high When sellers have a shop at City.  As people can confide  sellers  when they offer a warranty for items which are available at a store by signing a contract  with them. this opportunity would not be possible when residents  want to buy an item on the online shop which has not any store at the street.  such purchasing would be a genuine deterrent for people to order. thus, a shop at city cannot be replaced by online shopping. even if it offers an electronic warranty, it wouldn’t be conceivable  by purchasers.

in conclusion, I believe that online shopping can’t gain a popularity in preference to shops at cities because disadvantages of shops including the opportunity of touching a product and getting a warranty outweigh  and online shopping which won’t Have any of such benefits.

307 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 10, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The range of vocabulary is wide, but the accuracy in both common and advanced categories is relatively low. On a more specific note, “happen” is an intransitive verb, meaning that it cannot be used in the passive form. In addition, “information” is an uncountable noun; try “pieces of information” instead.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The rapid expansion of online shopping has sparked discussions about the potential extinction of physical stores in urban areas. While there are valid arguments on both sides, I disagree with the notion that all brick-and-mortar shops in towns and cities will eventually close due to the growth of online shopping.
On one hand, proponents of the idea that physical stores will eventually vanish assert that online shopping offers unparalleled convenience and a vast array of products at competitive prices. The ease of browsing and purchasing from the comfort of one's home, combined with the efficiency of doorstep delivery, makes online shopping an attractive option for many consumers. Furthermore, the increasing adoption of digital payment methods and advancements in e-commerce technology contribute to the allure of online shopping, potentially reducing the need for traditional retail spaces.
However, this viewpoint neglects the unique advantages that physical stores offer. Traditional shopping provides sensory experiences that online platforms cannot replicate, such as the ability to physically inspect products, try on clothing, and interact with sales staff for personalized assistance. Additionally, shopping in physical stores fosters social interactions and a sense of community engagement, contributing to the overall shopping experience.
Moreover, physical stores often serve as vital sources of local employment, stimulating the economy and enhancing the cultural fabric of towns and cities. Retail establishments create jobs for salespeople, customer service representatives, and other roles, contributing to local job markets. The presence of shops also promotes foot traffic and supports neighboring businesses, such as restaurants and cafes, creating a dynamic and interconnected urban environment.
In conclusion, the argument that the proliferation of online shopping will eventually lead to the closure of all physical stores in towns and cities overlooks the intrinsic value that traditional retail spaces offer. While online shopping brings convenience, physical stores provide sensory experiences, community engagement, and local economic benefits that contribute to their endurance. Therefore, I disagree with the notion that brick-and-mortar shops will universally disappear due to the rise of online shopping.
363 words

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