IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3327 – Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Sports and Leisure, Task 2 essay, Work and Employment, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, jobs play a crucial role in people’s life, a large number of people work long hours, and they spend little time doing fun and other leisure activities. this situation has some process and cons for people.

working long hours benefits people in some ways. first of all, if people work more, they will earn more money. as a case in point, some workers of factories work assiduously more than business hours and get more money. they can spend extra money on their families and this is spending money acts as a catalyst for fortifying the relationship between family members. further to this, the number of Job opportunities at different Fields and Levels has increased over the past few years. it is clear that working long hours is positively correlated with gaining experience. such experience opens Avenues for getting promotion and wider success.

on the other hand, longer work has two disadvantages. first, if individuals work long hours, not only will there morale be low, but also it will make them feel depressed. in this conditions Doing leisure activities gives them the perfect chance to rejuvenate. furthermore, working long hours may damage workers’ health, physically. for example,labours working with machines at nightshift or exhausted admit night, and in this situation, they may make a mistake and hurt themselves.

To conclude, even though working long hours has some advantages such as earning more money, improving the relationship between family Members and getting promotion, it has some disadvantages like feeling depressed and damaging their health. from my point of view, the advantages easily outweigh the disadvantages.

264 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

August 11, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 7.5 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task

8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question

8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas

8.0

Coherence and Cohesion

9.0 sequences information and ideas logically

8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well

9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately

8.0

Lexical Resource

9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary

8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation

8.0 produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation

9.0 the communication is completely natural

8.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free

9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’

9.0 communication is completely natural

7.0

7.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. This is a fabulous piece, just a bit shy of 8.0. The grammar range is indeed varied but needs very skillful and natural use in a wider range.

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Another Above 7.0 Sample

The prevalent issue of extended working hours, which often leaves minimal room for leisure pursuits, has triggered debates on the balance between work and personal life. While both advantages and disadvantages exist, I believe that the drawbacks of prolonged work hours outweigh the benefits.

On one hand, dedicating extensive hours to work can yield certain advantages. Financially, longer working hours can result in higher incomes, providing individuals with improved financial stability and a better quality of life. Moreover, a strong work ethic and dedication to one's profession can lead to career advancement and increased job security. This can ultimately contribute to a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem.

However, the disadvantages of this situation are more profound. Overworking can lead to burnout, impacting mental and physical health negatively. The lack of leisure time can strain personal relationships, leading to isolation and potential breakdowns in family dynamics. Additionally, a lack of time for leisure activities hampers personal growth and development, limiting opportunities to engage in hobbies, pursue interests, and foster a healthy work-life balance.

Furthermore, excessive working hours can lead to a decline in productivity. Diminished energy levels and increased stress can erode concentration and overall effectiveness at work. The absence of leisure activities that provide relaxation and mental rejuvenation can result in reduced creativity and innovative thinking, thereby hampering long-term career growth.

In conclusion, while extended work hours might offer financial benefits and career opportunities, the disadvantages, including negative effects on health, relationships, and overall well-being, outweigh the advantages. Striking a balance between work and leisure is essential for maintaining physical and mental health, fostering relationships, and nurturing personal growth. Thus, it is imperative for individuals and societies to recognize the importance of ensuring adequate time for leisure activities despite the demands of work.

327 words