IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3325 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Sports and Leisure, Task 2 essay, Travel and Tourism, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, the number of trips has increased. People travel abroad or go on a trip in their countries to increase their efficiency in life. I strongly disagree that more peope will select to go their countries rather than going out of the countries,and there are some reasons why I believe this.

First of all, it is easy to travel abroad due to development of technology.these daayss, there are different modes of transport. Airplane which is safest and fastest mode of transport affords travelers an opportunity to go on a journey fast without making a lot of effort and wasting time. Moreover. Various electrical devices such as phone,tablet and so on have developed over the past few years.so, such development opens avenues for using different applications installed in mobiles. Provided tourists use cellphones with different programes such as google map, they will be able to find routes in strane regions out of their countries.

further to this, people extremely interested in visiting a nee wares. It is clear that workers’ moral will be very low in the future and going to a new district out of their hometowns and countries will give them a perfect chance to rejuvenate. Not only will traveling abroad give them an opportunity to get acqquinted with the history and culture of people who are living in the new are, but also they will be able to get rid of busy area in their countries and experience in being in fresh and clean air.

to conclude, due to development of technology such as airplanes and cellphones, people will travel abroad esily. Moreover, since population has increased workers will go on a journey out of their countries to gain experience in being in quite area with air. Due to these reasons, I strongly agree that more people will travel abroad in the future.

305 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

November 3, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

9.0 sequences information and ideas logically

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

9.0 uses a wide range of structures

8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. There are two major errors in the essay: grammar-wise, missing verbs are to blame for the low score despite a wide range of complex grammatical structures. Vocabulary also needs attention, especially in the case of “are” versus “era” (or maybe “area” as can be seen, this confuses the reader). As for coherence and cohesion, paragraphing is not always clear; if we are adopting the contemporary style in our writing, it is important to leave a line empty between the paragraphs. Last but not least, the focus of the rubric is on going out or staying in a country on “holidays.” This focus is not very clear throughout the essay.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in travel preferences, with an increasing number of people choosing to spend their holidays in their own country rather than traveling abroad. This trend is expected to continue in the future, and I firmly believe that it is a positive development. In this essay, I will present my reasons for agreeing with this statement.

First and foremost, domestic tourism has several advantages, both for individuals and the local economy. When people choose to explore their own country, they often discover hidden gems and lesser-known destinations that may have been overlooked in favor of more popular international destinations. This not only fosters a deeper appreciation for one's own culture and heritage but also helps in the preservation and promotion of local traditions and attractions.

Moreover, domestic tourism contributes significantly to the economy by generating revenue within the country. Money spent on local accommodations, restaurants, and attractions helps boost the income of local businesses and communities. This, in turn, can lead to job creation and economic growth, especially in areas that heavily rely on tourism.

Additionally, traveling within one's own country is often more sustainable and eco-friendly. It reduces the carbon footprint associated with international air travel and promotes the use of public transportation or more fuel-efficient modes of travel.

In conclusion, the increasing preference for domestic tourism over international travel is a positive trend that is likely to continue in the future. It fosters cultural appreciation, supports local economies, and is environmentally friendly. For these reasons, I wholeheartedly agree that more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country, and I believe it is a change worth embracing.

248 words