IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3320 – Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.
Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, the  umber of shopping centers has in creased. However, this increase causes closing  local shops and businesses. There are some reasons why I believe this development is positive.

Such malls benefit communities in several ways. First of all, each mall has a parking, and it offers customers an opportunity to park their private vehicles rather than parking on a street. Not only does such parking space cause light traffic, but also it acts as a precursor to decreasing air pollution. Furthermore, ashopping centre cons of many small shops. It is clear that it require less space than those small shops built on streets. Further to these, building such centers is a best way to save electrical and heat energy. The number of small shops is directly correlated with the amount of energy consumed.

People can gain benefits from large shopping centers in some ways. First, there are variety of products in large centers. So, shoppers can find any types of clothes instead of going  different local small shops. In this case, they are able to save time. Moreover, if individuals go to a mall at free time, this browsing will referesh them and act as a catalyst for increasing their efficiency. As a case in point some managers advise workers to do shopping on weekends and the high efficiency of such stuff at workspace well embodies this point.

To conclude, due to decreaing of traffic resulting in reducing air pollution saving electrical and heat energy as well as high efficiency of shoppers at their workspace and saving time, I strongly agree that such developments affects communities positively.

268 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 14, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 7.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’
9.0 communication is completely natural
8.0
7.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. This is an excellent example of an IELTS task 2 response. The most noticeable point is that the topic is viewed from two angles: malls’ contribution to the community and what benefits people going there get. The main ideas are clear, addressed, and well-developed. To improve this essay, maybe fewer vocabulary errors can help.

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Another Above 7.0 Sample

In recent years, the closure of numerous small local shops due to customers' preference for large shopping centers or malls has become a prevalent trend. This phenomenon has both positive and negative implications, which warrant a closer examination.
On the positive side, the emergence of large shopping centers and malls often brings about several advantages. Firstly, these shopping destinations offer a wide array of products and services under one roof, providing customers with convenience and variety. Shoppers can find everything they need in one place, saving time and effort. Secondly, such centers often employ a significant number of people, thus contributing to job creation in the local economy. Additionally, large shopping centers attract customers from a wider area, potentially boosting tourism and the overall economic development of the region.
However, this shift also has its drawbacks. The closure of small local shops can result in the loss of traditional and unique businesses that contribute to the cultural fabric of a community. These shops often have a personal touch and offer products that may not be found in large malls. Furthermore, small local shops are typically run by individuals or families, and their closure can lead to unemployment and a decline in entrepreneurship at the grassroots level.
In conclusion, the trend of customers favoring large shopping centers over small local shops has both positive and negative consequences. While large centers offer convenience and economic benefits, the disappearance of small local shops can result in a loss of cultural diversity and job opportunities at the local level. Therefore, it is essential to strike a balance between supporting larger commercial ventures and preserving the unique character of local businesses, ensuring a vibrant and diverse retail landscape.
257 words

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