IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3318 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, many tourists travel to different regions in the world. The number of tourists who visit the areas with difficult conditions has increased over the past few years. Visiting such areas has pros and cons for tourists.

Tourists can gain benefits from visiting the area with difficult situations and conditions. First of all, since such areas are new and no one knows about them, it will afford tourists an opportunity to explore new things. Not only will tourists gain more information about these are and their creatures, but also the natural news and clean air with no noise refresh visitors. It is clear that being fresh is positively correlated with the visitors’ efficiency at workspace.

Further to these, it is a challenge for tourists to visit these areas. So they can gain experience in living in difficult situations, and this experience will act as a precursor to preparing them for future life.

On the other hand, living in these places has two disadvantages. First, if a tourist wants to visit such regions, he should provide a lot of things such as food, tent, and so for himself and will carry all stuff himself. So it is not easy for him and he will endure a several load for a heavy bag. Moreover, since no one has lived there for a long time, such areas are good places for dangerous animals to live there. So these regions are not safe for tourists, and animals such as snakes, tiger, bears and so one may hurt tourists.

To conclude, visiting regions with difficult situations benefits tourists in some ways such as discovering new things and gaining more experience, however, this trip has some disadvantages such as carry a heavy bag containing a lot of foof and other things, and existence of dangerous animals. I believe that the advantages of such trips easily outweigh the disadvantages of visiting such places.

316 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

September 6, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Given that the rubric does not demand the writer’s opinion, the essay is quite successful in addressing and developing all parts of the task. The main area of improvement is cohesion; the sentences should be connected more smoothly. There are instances in the text where sentence cohesion is affected. Regarding grammar, the essay has all the features of 7.0, to hit a higher score, we need a “wide” range of grammatical structures with higher accuracy.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In recent times, there has been a noticeable surge in the number of tourists venturing into challenging environments such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. This trend offers both advantages and drawbacks for those who undertake these unique and demanding journeys.
One of the primary benefits for tourists who visit such extreme locations is the opportunity for unparalleled experiences and adventure. These destinations provide a chance to witness the raw, untouched beauty of nature, far from the hustle and bustle of urban life. The thrill of exploring remote and challenging environments can create lasting memories and a profound sense of accomplishment for adventurous travelers.
Furthermore, visiting these places often fosters a deeper appreciation for the planet's natural wonders and the need for environmental conservation. Tourists who witness the fragility of these ecosystems may become advocates for preserving them, leading to increased awareness and support for conservation efforts.
On the flip side, there are notable disadvantages for tourists in such conditions. Firstly, these journeys can be physically and mentally taxing. Harsh weather, extreme temperatures, and limited amenities can make these trips physically challenging, requiring a high level of fitness and adaptability. Additionally, the lack of creature comforts and the isolation in these environments can lead to psychological stress for some tourists.
Moreover, the impact of tourism on these delicate ecosystems must be considered. An influx of tourists can disrupt fragile environments, leaving a significant carbon footprint and potentially harming local flora and fauna. Striking a balance between tourism and conservation is crucial to mitigate these adverse effects.
In conclusion, tourists who venture into challenging environments like the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic can enjoy unique experiences and develop a deeper appreciation for nature. However, these journeys can also be physically and mentally demanding, and they may have negative ecological consequences. Responsible and sustainable tourism practices are vital to maximize the benefits while minimizing the drawbacks of such extreme travel.
285 words

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