IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3316 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Arts and Entertainment, Sports and Leisure, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

These days people can see the movies in different ways, some individuals state that they can see the films on the electronic devices rather than going to the cinema. While others believe that going to the cinema would be the best way for being completely satisfied. In this essay, i will explain these two ideas.

On the one hand, those who believe that watching the films on the phones would be better have several reasons. Firstly, people can save money by seeing the films on their phones. They would not have to buy ticket which would be far more expensive than borrowing the films’ DVD or even purchasing them from store.

Getting a ticket would be costly because the cinema’s holders should compensate their expenses by it.

In addition, people can pause film if they watch it on the tablets. This advantage can give them a sens of satisfaction because people can see a long film in more convenient way. By viewing a lengthy film in several items wheen they have enough time and energy without any stress.

On the other hand, some followers of the films have three reasons for going to the cinema. They say that seeing the films on the cinema would be more pleeasurable because they can see them on the big screens which would be a main contributor to cfeating a sense of pleasure. These screens can hold the main features on the films which are not understandable on other devices. Secondly, being in a noisy situation like cinema, would add a sense of excitement to audiences. This environmental sound can be combined with the film’s sound, and creates an enjoyable’s feeling in the viewer.

Moreover,persons can see the films on the cinema along with their friends. The films can bee seen in a collective environment that increase the films’ excitement.

My opinion is that going to the cinema would be better than seeing on the phone because of excitement resulted from the screen and the sound as well as accompanying by friends. Although seeing the fils on the phones can have some advantages, people prefer to go to the cinema.

In conclusion, some people say that seeing the films on the phone will eliminate the need for going to the cinema. But because of several advantage that going to the cinema brings with itself. It seems that the second view would be better.

399 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 17, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task

8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

9.0 sequences information and ideas logically

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

5.0 attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Although the essay is quite successful in addressing the topic and developing the presented main ideas, 2 columns, i.e. vocabulary and grammar, have the same serious concern. Grammar-wise, there are incomplete complex sentences without an independent clause. Another minus point is the inaccurate use of correct grammatical structures; a sentence with “something would have to be” conveys a completely different message than “something has”. As for vocabulary, it is best to avoid coinage altogether! “environmental sound” is a correct terminology in nature that has a totally different meaning than the ambience one might feel in the cinema. All in all, when errors distort the writer’s intended messages, the reader inevitably gets confused, and at IELTS, confusion means 5.0.

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The advent of technology has brought about significant changes in the way we consume entertainment, particularly films. With the ability to watch movies on our phones or tablets, a debate has emerged between those who argue that the cinema's relevance is diminishing and those who contend that the unique charm of the cinema cannot be replicated elsewhere. This essay will delve into both perspectives and provide a personal viewpoint.

Supporters of mobile devices for film viewing argue that the convenience and accessibility they offer are unparalleled. In an era where busy schedules are the norm, the ability to watch films on the go is a major advantage. Furthermore, the plethora of streaming platforms and digital libraries provides a vast selection of content, allowing viewers to choose what, when, and where to watch, tailored to their preferences.

On the other hand, proponents of the cinema experience emphasize the unmatched allure of watching films on the big screen. The cinema offers an immersive experience with its larger-than-life visuals and state-of-the-art sound systems. The collective atmosphere of the cinema, where audiences share laughter, tears, and suspense, adds an element of social connection and emotional resonance that cannot be replicated in solitary mobile viewing.

In my opinion, both forms of film consumption have their merits, and their relevance depends on individual preferences and circumstances. Mobile devices are excellent for on-the-go entertainment and personal convenience, allowing flexibility in choosing viewing times and locations. However, the cinema provides a unique and immersive experience, making certain films, especially blockbusters and visually captivating works, more impactful.

In conclusion, the debate between mobile device and cinema viewing is multifaceted. While the convenience of mobile devices is undeniable, the cinema experience offers a special charm that caters to a different aspect of the film-watching experience. Ultimately, the choice between the two depends on the viewer's preferences and the type of film they wish to enjoy.

294 words