IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3305 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Economy and Business, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

These days a lot of small shops has closed because clients would go for Mega shopping malls to buy their necessities. this phenomenon would be a negative Trend which I will explain in this essay.

on the one hand, this attitude has several negative impacts. firstly the small local shops’ owners will miss their capitals which have invested in this business. these include Buddhism and the place where the businessman has rented. thus, such a person would suffer from unemployment, which affects its family. the whole family would be a burden on the government. furthermore, local people experience a difficulty for going to the large shopping malls which usually are far away from locality. they should utilize a vehicle for arriving the Malls, Which could be a private car or a public transportation.

this is really harder than going to a local shop which could be done on foot. it leads to having a stressful lifestyle. Moreover, the rate of accidents will be risen. as people use a vehicle for getting their destination, the possibility of the accidents would be inevitable. please increase the cost of people when they should compensate those damages, including the cost for fixing their own car or repairing for another public transportation to get the final place.

on the one hand, although this development could be could have two positive points like access to the whole material in one place and the discount which are common in there, the drawbacks that cause the strength brings to the locality outweigh the benefits. losing the capitals and experiencing difficulty in lifestyle as well as Transportation could be serious in long term.

in conclusion, I believe that this way will have the negative outcomes for local people to purchase the Necessities from small shops and also the shops’ owners would suffer from this development because they pass these problems today family who are part of these local people.

320 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 20, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

6.0 addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others

6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The topic is understood and addressed to some extent. An easier strategy to follow would be to consider this topic as a negative development and then write 2 paragraphs in support of the claim: 1- distance 2- shop owners’ issues. Instead, what we see is an attempt to mention both the negative and positive sides and then convince the reader that the negative side is more significant; this attempt, however, was sadly not executed fully.
The conclusion must also reflect what mentioned in the previous paragraphs, but here, we can see that only the first body paragraph receives all the attention in the conclusion.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In contemporary times, the closure of numerous small local shops has been attributed to customers preferring to shop at large shopping centers or malls. This phenomenon sparks a debate regarding whether this trend is advantageous or detrimental.

On the positive side, the rise of large shopping centers and malls offers certain benefits. Firstly, these sprawling complexes provide a one-stop shopping experience, consolidating a wide range of products and services under a single roof. This convenience saves customers time and effort, enhancing their overall shopping experience. Moreover, such establishments often boast modern amenities, ample parking, and a variety of entertainment options, transforming shopping into a leisure activity. Additionally, the presence of big brands and international retailers in these centers can stimulate economic growth and create employment opportunities, benefiting local communities.

However, this trend also has its negative implications. The closure of small local shops can result in the loss of unique businesses that contribute to the distinct character of neighborhoods. Furthermore, the concentration of retail activity in large shopping centers can lead to a homogenized shopping experience, where local cultures and traditions are overshadowed by global brands. Moreover, the dependence on distant shopping centers can lead to increased traffic congestion and environmental pollution as customers commute to these centralized locations.

In conclusion, the shift towards shopping at large centers and malls has both positive and negative aspects. While these establishments offer convenience, variety, and economic growth, they can also erode local character and contribute to environmental concerns. Striking a balance between supporting local businesses and enjoying the benefits of modern shopping centers is essential to ensure vibrant communities and sustainable consumption patterns.

274 words