IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3304 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.
What is your opinion on this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

these days new buildings are needed, but the countryside is the only area for constructing them. some people hold the idea of protecting the countryside rather than building new homes. I believe that construction is essential, which I will outline here.

on the one hand, there are several reasons for building new homes in the countryside. firstly, it is a good way to prevent people from immigrating to other cities. as the population grows in cities, the essential for accommodation is undeniable,  the place in town is rare, and the best location for construction would be the countryside. it leads New Generation having a place for living in that city rather than searching in other cities, which would a burden for. in addition, the government decentralize resources from big cities to other places. because of construction in the Countryside,  the official authorities would have to bring new facilities to there.

These  would take from Big Towns, for example budget or Professional Workforce in hospital which shift to this area. thus equipment would be the same for all cities, especially, these that are small.

on the one hand, some people believe that prevention of building new houses in the countryside is of Paramount important.  because people in cities need to have fresh air, and this is possible by preventing trees from cutting in that area.  although having fresh air is essential for cities, this idea would be rejected because construction can be done in the parts of the countryside which is empty and devoid of plants.

in conclusion, I hold the notion of building new homes in the countryside because of having some advantages which people benefit from, like prevention of immigration and  bringing new facilities to a small cities which are the verge of becoming over crowded.

297 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

October 19, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The thesis statement is the most important sentence in the essay, yet in this case, it needs clarity. The focus of the essay is not on the ability to construct houses; it should be on where these new houses ought to be constructed. Lack of clarity is evident at the end of the second paragraph. “Professional workforce in hospitals” is given as an example, but it is unclear why a hospital is under focus. The range of words and phrases are indeed rich. The grammatical range is wide enough but needs more accuracy.

IELTS Juice YouTube Channel

IELTS Juice

IELTS Juice is brought to you by Juice Academy, registered in ‌British Columbia, Canada. On this channel, experienced English teachers and IELTS experts provide lessons, tips, and guidance to help you improve your English and achieve the best results in the IELTS exam.

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The question of whether to prioritize the protection of the countryside over building new homes in such areas is a complex issue with valid arguments on both sides.
On one hand, safeguarding the countryside is crucial for several reasons. The countryside often embodies natural beauty, biodiversity, and ecosystems that contribute to the overall health of the planet. Constructing new homes in these areas can disrupt the delicate balance of nature, leading to habitat loss, deforestation, and soil degradation. Preserving the countryside also preserves recreational spaces for the public, offering opportunities for leisure, relaxation, and connection with nature. Furthermore, urban sprawl into rural areas can strain existing infrastructure and services, leading to increased pollution and a decreased quality of life.
On the other hand, the need for new homes is undeniable, particularly in the face of growing populations and urbanization. Providing adequate housing is a fundamental requirement for societal well-being. Ignoring the demand for housing may result in overcrowding, increased housing costs, and homelessness. By allowing responsible and sustainable development in the countryside, we can ensure that people have access to affordable homes while simultaneously implementing measures to minimize environmental impact.
In conclusion, finding a balance between protecting the countryside and accommodating the need for new homes is essential. This can be achieved through careful urban planning, stringent environmental regulations, and the promotion of sustainable building practices. Preserving the beauty and ecological value of the countryside is important, but it should be complemented by addressing the pressing need for housing to ensure a harmonious coexistence between human development and nature's integrity.
261 words

Read similar samples


$59
IELTS Listening Course

IELTS Listening

Best approaches to each part of the IELTS Listening test

$79

IELTS Reading

All the strategies you need for success in IELTS reading

$99
IELTS writing

IELTS Writing

How to write letters, reports & essays based on IELTS criteria

$49
IELTS Speaking

IELTS Speaking

Top tips and speaking practice materials for the three parts

$19

IELTS Vocabulary

Master essential vocabulary for success in the IELTS test

Free

What’s IELTS

Have an overview of the IELTS test format & structure

Free

One Word or Two

Master words that look like one but are two, or vice versa