IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3294 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

People hold different views about the various reasons of learning a new language. While it has been claimed that the central reason can be traveling or finding a job in a destination, others have brought new ideas why people should acquire this new skill. I agree more with latter view.

In one view, advocates claim that if you learn a new language, the chance of getting approval for visa will increase significantly. Needless to say, it is one of the main criteria for embassy officers to check whether you got enough score for using that language to communicate in their community or not, so by learning a new skill you will be able to travel to new place. In addition, most immigrants are willing to go to countries which classified as developed. These countries have multi cultural background. Therefore, if they want to be able to communicate effectively they should know the standard language of that region. Otherwise, they would be fail to continue to live there.

On the other hand, the supporters of other belief suggest that learning a language can have many advantage. Firstly, since employees are usually attract to candidates who speak multi languages, the chance of hiring would
be increase for applicants. Moreover, it is said by many linguists that learning a language has a direct relationship with not only accepting a new culture and become a member of it but also new identity. As a result learners would enjoy flexible mind as well as character. Finally, psychologist believe that people who are proficient in using more than one language will not face to a mental illness such as Alzheimer as a consequence learning a language would have benefit for wellbeing.

In conclusion, although some people suppose that the main aim of learning a new language should be limited to travelling or working out of borders, others belive that the reason behind this can be different.

320 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 2, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The writer’s opinion is only stated very briefly in the introduction. Although the writer’s opinion is in line with one of the views mentioned here, it is still one-third of the rubric and needs more expansion. Conclusion is the best place to restate the write’s view with clear links to the favorable idea. In coherence and cohesion, it’s important to know how referents work. Here’s a lesson that helps:


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
6.0 addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The writer’s opinion is only stated very briefly in the introduction. Although the writer’s opinion is in line with one of the views mentioned here, it is still one-third of the rubric and needs more expansion. Conclusion is the best place to restate the write’s view with clear links to the favorable idea. In coherence and cohesion, it’s important to know how referents work. Here’s a lesson that helps:

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The debate over the primary reasons for learning a foreign language revolves around whether it should be solely tied to travel or work in foreign countries. While some argue that these are the exclusive motivations, others contend that language acquisition serves a more diverse set of purposes. In my view, the benefits of learning a foreign language extend far beyond travel or work.
Advocates for learning a foreign language primarily to facilitate travel and work abroad argue that language proficiency is a practical skill that enhances communication and integration when living or working in foreign lands. This view emphasizes the utilitarian aspects of language learning, ensuring individuals can navigate unfamiliar environments effectively.
On the contrary, those who believe there are broader motivations for acquiring foreign languages highlight the cognitive, cultural, and personal growth aspects. Learning a language opens doors to diverse cultures, fostering cross-cultural understanding and appreciation. It nurtures empathy and a global perspective, enabling individuals to connect with people from different backgrounds. Moreover, it enhances cognitive abilities, such as problem-solving and multitasking.
In my opinion, while the ability to travel and work in foreign countries is undoubtedly an important motivation for language acquisition, it is far from the only one. Learning a foreign language enriches one's life in countless ways. It empowers individuals to communicate with a wider range of people, explore new literary and cultural landscapes, and develop a more open and flexible mindset. The benefits of learning a foreign language extend to personal enrichment and a more interconnected world, making it a valuable pursuit regardless of the specific reasons that drive an individual to undertake it.
269 words

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