IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3293 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

News stories on TV and newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words.
what is your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

These days news on TV and in newspapers is accompanied by photos . Some individuals believe that these images are more influencial than sentences , but i hold opposite view and i will outline it in this essay .

On the one hand , i suppose that words are more important than images because of several reasons . Firstly , sentences could be analysed , which Could be more influencial . As people Could focus on words , and repeat them . If they cannot understand part of it , they could review it several times , thus , after having understood the whole sentence , those words Could be mor effective than images which have visited without any explanation . In addition , words could help people to be well-informed about different news . These words could increase the knowledge of people about a subject which is not very clear . It could be understandable when individuals have enough information about that story . This strategy about an image is not true because it don’t have any description . Moreover , sentences Could mention from a person who is famous and influencial among public . For example , the president of a country would change the price of oil if he or she have some inscripts on newspapers or a verbal statement on TV .

On the other hand , Although images could be more effective than words in Some cases , it’s not true in majority of cases . For example , showing an accident could be effective because it affect people’s feelings , but  all news stories are not pertained to accident . For other stories , words play an important role in terms of effectiveness .

In Conclusion , Some people think that pictures are more effective than words . While i take opposite view because sentences could be analysed and explained as well as stated from a famous person who would be more influencial .

330 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 24, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The essay is very successful in addressing the question. The main ideas are well covered and developed, though a few main ideas could be more fully developed. The organization of the ideas is reflected consistently throughout the essay. The reference in some cases is absent which affects clarity of messages. The grammatical errors are not that serious but need proper attention and more practice.

Task Response (TR):
- The essay clearly states the candidate's opinion, asserting that words are more influential than images in news stories.
- The response adequately develops this viewpoint across multiple paragraphs, providing reasons and examples.
- While the opposing viewpoint is mentioned, it is not fully developed, which is acceptable if the candidate's main focus is to present and support their own opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay’s structure is clear, with a logical progression of ideas.
- Transitions are generally used effectively, though some could be smoother.
- The paragraphing is appropriate, separating different aspects of the argument.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- The vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the topic.
- Some spelling errors and incorrect word choices are present, but they do not significantly hinder communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures.
- There are some grammatical errors, but these do not impede understanding significantly.
- Attention to detail in spelling and consistent capitalization would enhance the overall quality.

Overall Feedback:
The essay is more accurately placed in the Band 6 range. It presents a clear opinion and adequately develops it. To improve further, the candidate should focus on refining vocabulary, correcting minor grammatical and spelling errors, and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. While the development of the opposing viewpoint isn’t necessary for a higher score, greater depth in the candidate's argument and fewer lexical errors could contribute to achieving a band 7 or higher.


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
7.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The essay is very successful in addressing the question. The main ideas are well covered and developed, though a few main ideas could be more fully developed. The organization of the ideas is reflected consistently throughout the essay. The reference in some cases is absent which affects clarity of messages. The grammatical errors are not that serious but need proper attention and more practice.

Task Response (TR):
- The essay clearly states the candidate's opinion, asserting that words are more influential than images in news stories.
- The response adequately develops this viewpoint across multiple paragraphs, providing reasons and examples.
- While the opposing viewpoint is mentioned, it is not fully developed, which is acceptable if the candidate's main focus is to present and support their own opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay’s structure is clear, with a logical progression of ideas.
- Transitions are generally used effectively, though some could be smoother.
- The paragraphing is appropriate, separating different aspects of the argument.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- The vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the topic.
- Some spelling errors and incorrect word choices are present, but they do not significantly hinder communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures.
- There are some grammatical errors, but these do not impede understanding significantly.
- Attention to detail in spelling and consistent capitalization would enhance the overall quality.

Overall Feedback:
The essay is more accurately placed in the Band 6 range. It presents a clear opinion and adequately develops it. To improve further, the candidate should focus on refining vocabulary, correcting minor grammatical and spelling errors, and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. While the development of the opposing viewpoint isn’t necessary for a higher score, greater depth in the candidate's argument and fewer lexical errors could contribute to achieving a band 7 or higher.

Video Feedback

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

In the realm of news media, the integration of visuals alongside news stories on television and in newspapers is a common practice. There's a contention that these images wield a greater impact compared to written words. In my perspective, while both mediums have their strengths, the inclusion of pictures does enhance the storytelling and comprehension of news stories.
Visuals possess a remarkable ability to evoke emotions and convey complex information swiftly. They transcend language barriers, enabling a more universal understanding of events or issues. For instance, a photograph capturing the aftermath of a natural disaster can communicate the devastation and urgency more effectively than a written description. Likewise, videos or infographics illustrating statistical data can simplify complex information, making it more accessible to a wider audience.
However, while visuals can be compelling, they might not always convey the full context or depth of a story. They can be subject to manipulation or misinterpretation, potentially influencing perceptions inaccurately. Additionally, the impact of visuals largely depends on personal interpretation, which can vary among individuals.
Words, on the other hand, offer a depth of detail and nuance that visuals may lack. Written narratives can provide background, analysis, and multiple perspectives that visuals might not encapsulate fully. Furthermore, words allow for a more deliberate and comprehensive presentation of information.
In conclusion, while visuals hold a distinct power in captivating attention and conveying information swiftly, the combination of both visuals and words offers a more comprehensive understanding of news stories. Each medium has its unique strengths, and their combined utilization enables a more holistic and impactful presentation of information in the news media.
268 words

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