IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3291 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It has always been argued that acceptance of everybody’s current situation can benefit them even though they are unsatisfied with their lives, while other experts believe that people should try as much as possible to achieve their satisfactory position.

On the one hand, changing job situation and earning money is not as easy as books and films mention as it needs a lot of demands and enough incentive. Most people habitually follow their daily lives and do not have a strong incentive to boost the quality of their lives as they think they are too tired both physically and mentally to change their situations. Besides, researchers have confirmed that numerous people find it difficult to leave their unpleasant jobs in order to find a better career, mainly because of limited financial opportunities. Furthermore, some people prefer to stay in their comfort zones for several reasons, including lack of self-esteem, high sense of insecurity, and also lack of enough knowledge. Therefore, because of all these reasons, some people think adapting to an unsatisfying job is more acceptable than trying to change it.

On the other hand, a vast number of psychologists and economists believe that everybody in society should work hard and struggle with shortages to achieve the best things. They argue living with satisfaction is a primarily right for an individual and one of the vital responsibilities of any government is to create a safe atmosphere that each person has enough incentive to improve their budget. They also believe most people have enough capability to raise the quality of their lives; they just need a driving force to push them forward in order to use their creativity and knowledge to tackle problems and get satisfied with their achievements.

In my opinion, changing and improving an unpleasant situation depends on a variety of factors, including education, capability, and creativity of each person as well as economic stability in the society. I think people in developed countries who highly benefited from economic stability, should be encouraged to boost the quality of their lives, while in developing countries where most people suffer from economic recession and lack of enough employment possibilities, it is best for them to maintain their jobs even they are unsatisfied with it.

In conclusion, trying to change an unsatisfactory career and situation, not only depends on the personality of an individual but also depends on other important factors in society such as government and economic stability. I believe it is difficult to consider just one solution to this phenomenon all over the world.

424 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

February 10, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. This is an excellent Discussion-led essay response. The writer did an amazing job clarifying their own opinion while giving both parties enough room (i.e. words) to support their contradictory agendas. To improve this essay, errors in vocabulary and grammar can be minimized, especially the ones which are responsible for conveying a certain message or connecting two sentences.

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
7.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. This is an excellent Discussion-led essay response. The writer did an amazing job clarifying their own opinion while giving both parties enough room (i.e. words) to support their contradictory agendas. To improve this essay, errors in vocabulary and grammar can be minimized, especially the ones which are responsible for conveying a certain message or connecting two sentences.

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The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

The debate between accepting an adverse situation, like an unfulfilling job or financial constraints, and actively seeking improvement is a topic of considerable discussion. Both perspectives have their merits, and the optimal approach may depend on the specific circumstances at hand.
On one side of the argument, proponents of acceptance believe that it can lead to greater contentment and mental well-being. Accepting an unsatisfactory job or financial constraints might reduce stress and anxiety, as individuals become less fixated on what they lack and more appreciative of what they have. Additionally, in certain cases, pursuing improvement might be unfeasible due to factors beyond one's control, making acceptance a pragmatic choice.
On the other hand, those advocating for proactive change assert that human progress is often the result of dissatisfaction and the desire for improvement. Striving for a better job or financial stability can lead to personal growth, self-fulfillment, and a more comfortable life. Moreover, attempting to improve one's situation can have a ripple effect, benefiting not only the individual but also their community and society as a whole.
In my opinion, the balance between acceptance and improvement is essential. While acceptance can provide peace in situations where change is impractical, striving for improvement is the driving force of progress. It is crucial to evaluate each situation individually, considering factors like the potential for change, personal goals, and well-being. In some cases, acceptance is the path to contentment, while in others, the pursuit of improvement can lead to a more fulfilling and prosperous life.
In conclusion, the debate between embracing acceptance and actively seeking improvement underscores the complexity of navigating life's challenges. Each perspective brings valuable insights, with acceptance fostering contentment in the face of certain limitations and improvement serving as a catalyst for personal and societal progress. Striking a thoughtful balance between these two approaches is, in my view, paramount, recognizing that the optimal choice may vary based on individual circumstances, goals, and the feasibility of change.
326 words

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