IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3288 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Economy and Business, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The globalization phenomenon has facilitated purchasing the same goods for all people, which brings about the similarities of all countries. Although this phenomenon can have some positive effects on people’s lives, I believe it will negatively impact society in the long run.

In recent years, we observe eye-catching advertisements among different media that have encouraged people to purchase their necessary items from international and online companies, since these companies, such as Amazon, have provided any items from basic needs to the most luxury goods, it inevitably leads to people`s interest to purchase their everyday stuff from there. The most beneficial aspect of this development is that unemployed individuals can be recruited by these companies and work remotely, so it can reduce the rate of unemployment in poor countries. Besides, young people will become familiar with the international trading environment and will be able to run their own businesses in the future. Finally, most experts believe that globalization will result in easier life, and customers can save their money and times as much as possible.

On the other hand, if people use the same products, cultural differences will vanish gradually. People in different countries learn to have similar lifestyles and be interested in the same stuff, consequently, the new generation will forget their ancient cultures, and we will encounter a world without civilization and history in the future. Besides, local businesses that play a vital role in society, as they support local communities and get involved in their activities, will be negatively affected by globalization. Furthermore, from the psychological perspective, differences are incentives for people to learn and investigate about the world; without differences, the individuals will get bored and are more likely to suffer from depression.

In conclusion, despite all the positive effects that globalization can have on people`s lives, I think providing the same products for all citizens without considering their cultural differences could be problematic for society.

319 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

January 14, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

7.0 they do not impede communication

7.0

6.5

Feedback:

The response adequately addresses the main aspect of the rubric, but it would greatly benefit from further elaboration through the inclusion of specific examples and additional details. At present, the content remains somewhat generalized and would be strengthened by concrete instances to support the arguments made.

Regarding coherence and cohesion, enhancing the structure of paragraphs is essential. To improve the second body paragraph, consider introducing a clear topic sentence such as:

'On the other hand, the utilization of these products can significantly impact three fundamental pillars within society.'

This topic sentence could then be followed by discussions on the influence on culture, business, and individual well-being. Please note, this is just one example of several approaches that can be employed to enhance paragraph structure and coherence.

Video Feedback

IELTS Juice

IELTS Juice is brought to you by Juice Academy, registered in ‌British Columbia, Canada. On this channel, experienced English teachers and IELTS experts provide lessons, tips, and guidance to help you improve your English and achieve the best results in the IELTS exam.

Subscribe

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In our increasingly globalized world, it is evident that countries are growing more similar due to the widespread availability of identical products across the globe. This phenomenon, in my opinion, is a positive development for several compelling reasons.

Firstly, the availability of the same products worldwide is a testament to the progress and accessibility of international trade. It signifies that trade barriers and restrictions have diminished, enabling consumers to access a wide range of goods from different corners of the world. This not only broadens choices but also fosters economic interdependence among nations, leading to improved diplomatic relations and reducing the likelihood of conflicts.

Moreover, the uniform availability of products can contribute to a more equitable distribution of resources and wealth. As similar products become accessible in various countries, it can lead to a more level playing field, especially in developing nations. Such access can help bridge the economic gap and enhance the overall standard of living by making essential and desirable products available to a broader segment of the population.

Additionally, global similarity in products can promote cultural exchange and understanding. As people from different countries use the same products, it can create common ground for communication and appreciation of each other's cultures. This shared experience can help break down cultural stereotypes and foster a sense of global unity.

In conclusion, the increasing similarity of products across countries is a positive development as it promotes economic growth, reduces inequality, and facilitates cultural exchange. It symbolizes the interconnectedness of nations and the potential for a more harmonious and cooperative world. Embracing this trend can contribute to a more prosperous and unified global community.

273 words