IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3286 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It has always been arguable whether students should only concentrate on the basic subjects such as science and technology or it is better pursue their appealing skills like drawing or sports. My firm conviction is that although some subjects seem more useful in the future, all people should have enough freedom to choose their own profession.

The human being is a free creature, who is enough clever and smart to make a right decision for their life. People during history have always decided to learn many skills and subjects, which facilitated their daily lives and smoothed the way for future generation. Over time, human needs have changed, and nowadays, individuals benefit from their creativity to achieve a high standard of living, they have been convinced that arts, sports, and soft skills such as interpersonal skills will play a vital role in the future of a society as much as science and technology do. Modern society needs numerous types of subjects, and if people are allowed to pursue their favorite majors that they seem to be more successful in, it would boost productivity, creativity, and efficiency in the long run.

However, the importance of science and technology is not deniable, and for living in this fast-paced world, it is essential to have minimum skills with high-tech instruments to be more compatible with 21-century life.  People who are not familiar with computer science, programming language, smartphones, will find it challenging to have decent job opportunities and communicating with others. Therefore, students should be encouraged to learn modern science, and this is the responsibility of parents and schools’ authorities to teach them basic knowledge that they might need in their future, simultaneously, they are responsible for broadening students` horizons to be able to choose a proper profession in the future whether it is modern science or other kinds of subjects.

In conclusion, although learning modern science and technology is necessary and utterly it will have positive effects on students` future, I believe, adults are responsible to familiarize children with all kinds of subjects and help them to pursue the proper career according to their talents and efforts as our modern society needs all types of skills and knowledge.

365 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 19, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
5.0 addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The essay only focuses on the writer’s opinion, but the rubric clearly asks us to “Discuss both those views …” the essay does not take time to acknowledge, introduce, and explain who the people behind each view are, or why they hold the first view (and later the second view). This will tremendously affect the score. In addition, the focus of the rubric is on “university students” if we use words like “basic knowledge” and “parents”, the reader receives a more generic response which is not specific to the young adults at universities. On the plus side, there are not many grammatical or vocabulary errors, and the writing style is quite clear in getting its messages across.

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The question of whether university students should have the freedom to choose their areas of study or be guided towards subjects with future utility, particularly in the fields of science and technology, has sparked a contentious debate. Both perspectives have their merits, and striking a balance between them is crucial.
On one side of the argument, proponents of unfettered academic choice emphasize the importance of personal interests and passions. They believe that students are more likely to excel in subjects they are genuinely enthusiastic about. This approach fosters a sense of creativity and allows individuals to explore their full potential, which can result in innovative breakthroughs that may not be achieved through more rigid curricula.
Conversely, those advocating for a focus on practical, future-oriented subjects contend that in a rapidly evolving world, preparing students for the job market and addressing societal challenges is paramount. They argue that emphasizing science and technology-related fields can lead to a more technologically proficient and economically competitive workforce. This approach can also address issues such as skill shortages in high-demand industries.
In my opinion, the ideal approach lies in a middle ground. Encouraging students to pursue their interests is important for personal growth and creativity. However, it is also essential to provide guidance and support to ensure they are equipped with skills relevant to the job market. A balanced curriculum that combines general education with the freedom to choose electives can offer the best of both worlds, nurturing well-rounded individuals with specialized knowledge.
In conclusion, the question of whether university students should study what they like or focus on future-oriented subjects is best addressed through a balanced approach, considering both personal interests and societal needs.
280 words

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